That Thou Art Mindful of Him
by MeZaKi93
Summary: Ratchet thought it was a simple thing, his weakness getting the better of him again. But when a simple hangover evolves into something more, he has to take the biggest battle ever - to save his own life.
1. Chapter 1

Hy there! Well... the idea of the story has been bugging me for quite a while now, and I didn't know if I should start it, but my muse won. It was originally a one-shot between Ratchet and Optimus (the beginning of the chapter), but then it started evolving, and I pretty much have it planned out now... Yeah. Here is the result.

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I.

It had gone wrong. He should have known better.

Ratchet would have laughed at himself had he not been leaning over a waste bucket, waiting for his tank to empty itself. He must have been a pathetic sight and he was glad he was alone in his quarters. This hangover was probably just the right punishment for him for being so careless again, but he knew it was too late thinking what he should and should not have done - here was the result and he had to deal with it now.

But not just the hangover. The shame as well.

The Autobot medic took a deep breath and sat down again next to the bucket, leaning with his back to the wall. Still nothing came up, just this agonizing nausea and the headache which just made it worse. He deserved it. Optimus had faith in him and he failed it - again. He thought he had more self-control, but the old addiction was still stronger than him, and he hated this weakness.

It was Jack's birthday party; though, his seventeenth birthday had been a month before, because of the Decepticons' recent activities they could only celebrate it now. They agreed on a quiet party and allowed the teenagers - at least Miko and Jack, with June's permission - a small amount of alcohol and themselves a little high-grade that Bulkhead and Bumblebee found, Primus knew how. Ratchet did not think about it for too long. They all knew to not get drunk since they always had to be alert, but one cube of high-grade didn't hurt anyone.

Ratchet was offered a cube that he knew he should have refused, but thought it would be impolite when everyone else raised their cubes or glasses to celebrate Jack's birthday. He thought he would stop at that, especially since he made a promise to himself to stay sober and reliable; after all, he was the team's only medic, he always had to be ready to help anyone in need. However, one cube became two, then three, then five - he began to feel happy and light-headed and enjoyed himself more than he did in years. No harm done. He did not lose his sense of reality and didn't have to be supported back to his berth, he was aware and remembered everything, especially the look Optimus gave him towards the end of the party.

A look of worry and disappointment. He failed to overcome his weakness again. Now he payed for it.

When his tank gave a sudden lurch, he got up again and leaned over the bucket. His vents cycled air heavily and he coughed, but still nothing. It was too early in the morning and most of the others were still recharging, which was a good thing. He didn't want any witnesses to his humiliating defeat.

Except that he had forgotten to lock the door before he fell into recharge.

Ratchet closed his optics and groaned when he felt a large hand rest gently on his back. He didn't even hear the door being opened, but had a guess who it was. Optimus stood calmly next to him and supported him with one hand, for which, Ratchet realized, he was grateful - his legs were shaking like crazy and he still felt weak.

"I know." Ratchet murmured.

"Better out than in." Optimus said quietly, his voice sounded a bit tired as if he himself had just come out of recharge, too.

Ratchet sighed deeply, leaning more against the bucket. "Say it to my tank."

"Why not help it a little?"

"That would not be fair."

"You rather suffer?" Optimus' voice was still gentle and Ratchet just hummed. He sat down again and closed his optics. He knew by the sounds that the Prime had sat down as well and would probably not move or leave him alone as long as he didn't get better. Ratchet opened his optics and met with Optimus' bright cyan ones that were looking at him with forgiving kindness. The medic hated this at the moment. Optimus should have been angry with him, should have told him how disappointed he was, but instead he just sat there with a gentle hand on Ratchet's shoulder that he didn't have the strenght to shake off.

"Why am I not getting the lecture?" he mumbled, but already felt energon burning the back of his throat.

"This 'hangover' you're having speaks for itself." Optimus answered patiently, "And you have already heard everything I would say. I don't think I would have to repeat myself."

"Why aren't you angry?" the medic grumbled again, the growing dizziness really didn't help his churning tanks. He breathed heavily and closed his optics.

"I am," he heard Optimus say, "but I believe you are angry enough at yourself for the two of us right now."

Ratchet retched and a hand shot to his mouth. Optimus grabbed the bucket immediately and put it in Ratchet's lap just before he finally purged the contents of his tank. He remained hunched over the bucket for a while, feeling light-headed still until Optimus lifted it gently from his lap and helped him to his feet. "I can walk." Ratchet mumbled, "I'll just wash up and see to the computers. I guess the room is still a mess."

"Actually," said Optimus behind him, "we cleaned up after you left to recharge. Are you feeling better?"

Ratchet humphed. "How do I look?" he muttered, causing his leader to sigh and shake his head.

"Alright, but if you remain unwell, stay in your quarters and rest. We can manage the GroundBridge."

The medic waved his hand, grabbed the bucket and made his way to the wash racks. He swayed slightly as Optimus watched him go, but the Prime knew better than to go after him. That would just make things worse, so he just raised the sensitivity of his audios and kept them on his long-time friend in case he collapsed. Optimus sighed as he thought back to how many times he had to deal with Ratchet overcharged, sometimes even unable to speak clearly, and thought sadly that it was experience that made him do this.

Ratchet didn't collapse, but he did purge again and Optimus winced at the sound. He knew it would be no use telling him to rest as long as he still had the strenght to drag himself to the computers; Ratchet had to be in really bad shape to go and rest on his own. And besides, Optimus tried to tell himself, it was just a hangover, the medic had worse. He was stubborn and knew what to do to make himself better.

The others emerged from their recharge, too, and Ratchet also came out of the wash racks just as June's car pulled in. Jack and Miko climbed out slowly, it looked like they had just awoken. June, on the other hand, did not look tired and was smiling.

"I thought we would help clean up if we missed something last night." the nurse said kindly.

"Thank you, Mrs. Darby-"

"June."

"Thank you, June," Optimus told her gently, "but everything is in order. There is nothing more that needs to be done."

"See, mom?" Jack exclaimed from the couch, "I told you! You should have let us sleep longer."

This earned a chuckle from Arcee. She could just imagine June waking up her rather unwilling son to go with her and help the Autobots with the remaining mess, after all, it was _his_ party, and Miko was just the other victim of June's insistence - it seemed they let Raf sleep it out, and Bumblebee transformed to go and pick him up once he awoke. It was Saturday, and Arcee knew Jack hated it when he had to get up early on Saturday.

"And how are you anyway?" June asked as she climbed the stairs to join the two teenagers on the couch. She was free until noon, and she couldn't deny that she liked to be there with these strange beings, especially since Ratchet opened up to her enough to let her learn about their biology and medicine. It fascinated her and she was more than willing to help when Ratchet asked the same from her, especially after Raf came back to base injured.

"Very good." Bulkhead answered her as he stretched, sending metallic klicks along his limbs. "I haven't felt so good in a long time."

"Really, June," it was Arcee this time with a small smile on her face, "thank you for letting us hold this party. We needed that."

"I agree." nodded Optimus, "We could finally relax together and distract ourselves from the constant threat."

He cast a worrying glance at Ratchet who was standing before the computers, leaning heavily on the keyboard. He looked like he was fighting to stay conscious, but his pride kept him from sitting down or go back to his quarters. June frowned and walked over to him.

"Hey, Ratchet," she called to him gently, "is everything alright?"

"Yes." the medic grumbled, "I'm fine."

Optimus walked over to him and Ratchet felt his large hand rest on his shoulder again. That was when the others also walked up to him as if they had just noticed he was there.

"Ratchet, you look awful." Miko cocked her head to the side, earning a glare from the Autobot.

"Yeah, and was it you purging in the wash racks this morning?" Bulkhead joined.

Ratchet sighed angrily and straightened up. He closed his optics for a moment to chase away the dizziness that hit him and tried to lean to Optimus' arm as little as possible. He really didn't want the others to crowd around him and keep asking him if he was alright. He already had enough of that and he always hated when others were worried about him; he was the medic, it was his job to take care of others and not the other way around.

"Okay, everybody," he finally said, but Optimus did not let go of him, "I am fine. It's just a simple... hangover, as the humans call it. It will pass soon."

"Hangover?" Jack interrupted, there was a confused frown on his face, "But you weren't even drunk! Okay, you drank a few cubes, but... you didn't look drunk. Just relaxed."

"I'm good at keeping it hidden." Ratchet murmured and saw Arcee's eyes widen. Her optics met Optimus' and looked at him apologetically. Of course, she had known about Ratchet's past, the period of his life when he struggled to stay sober, but managed to fight his addiction and didn't have a drop of high-grade ever since they arrived on Earth - not as if he could, anyway. She should have known to take care of that, keep an eye on him, but she didn't. Neither of them did.

"Ratch," she told him gently, "we can watch the computers for you-"

"No, no!" the medic protested and turned back to the screens. "It keeps me distracted."

No one asked him any more, for which Ratchet was grateful. Arcee sighed, but knew it would just make the mech angrier if they kept offering him their help. He wouldn't accept it, even if it was the end of the world. And she couldn't travel back in time to prevent Ratchet from getting overcharged again - she just hoped he wasn't making himself any sicker.

Ratchet was glad he was left alone for the time being. He checked the systems and sensor for anything unusual, but couldn't find any. He sighed in relief as the dizziness ceased somewhat, but he still felt weak, weaker than he should have - maybe something _was_ wrong after all. He had hangovers in the past and he could tell this time something was different. He felt strange, he couldn't have explained why, but it seemed he wasn't the only one who had noticed something was wrong.

"Ratchet," June's quiet voice filled his audios and he took a step forward to lean against the railing, laying his head on his hand. He looked at the human nurse and let her continue, "I have seen drunk and intoxicated people before in the emergency room and you were far from that. Are you sure it's just a simple hangover?"

"I asked myself the same question." Ratchet answered, his voice sounded gentle for once. "But, this is something you don't know about me. I... consumed plenty of high-grade energon in the past and sometimes it was... quite bad. I stopped after a while, but I think my tanks were damaged enough by that time. That's why now it's... worse than before."

"I see." June said, she didn't look angry at all. She put a hand on Ratchet's metallic finger, as if to reassure him. "Don't you-"

Her voice was cut off by the sudden beeping of one of the sensors on the computer. Ratchet straightened up, but regretted the movement immediately as it sent another dizzy spell through his processor. He tried to steady himself and concentrate on the screen.

"Energon?" asked Jack and the Autobots gathered around the computer as well.

"Yes." Ratchet answered, but couldn't keep his voice from wavering. Stars filled his vision and he felt like he was going to purge again.

"The coordinates are set." he heard Optimus' voice dimly from the side. The Prime opened the GroundBridge, "Get some rest, Ratchet. Our human friends can handle the Bridge."

"Yeah, Doc Bot, we'll be fine." Miko joined in with a smile. Bulkhead was a bit surprised the Japanese girl didn't try to persuade them to take her, too, but figured she might just be still tired, since June did not let them have their rest in the morning.

"Alright then. Roll out!" Optimus said, but before he transformed to follow Arcee and Bulkhead, he turned back to Ratchet. He didn't like the way he was shaking and holding his head in his servo. "Are you sure you will manage alone?"

"I just... need to sit do-"

However, he never finished his sentence. Ratchet's body froze and his optics rolled back as a high-pitched, wheeze-like sound emitted from his vocals as his vents forced the air they cycled out, and a moment later he collapsed on the floor, his body twitching violently. June was the first to react - she had seen such a thing numerous times.

"Optimus!" she shouted, "roll him to the side and hold him down! You two, go out!"

Jack and Miko both stood frozen in shock and just starred at Ratchet until June's stern voice brought them back to reality. Jack knew that look in his mother's eyes and grabbed Miko's arm to take her with himself out of the main room - it wasn't the time for arguing with June and he thought the only way to make it easier for all of them was to obey her order.

At the same time, June ran up to the computer to contact the two Autobots who had already gone through the GroundBridge, "Arcee, Bulkhead!"

"Yes, June?" Arcee's voice answered, "Is there a problem? Optimus-"

"Optimus is staying." the nurse told her in a hurry, "Ratchet collapsed, he needs to help him. I'm closing the Bridge."

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the link before Arcee spoke again, her voice low with worry, "Alright, we'll handle this. We'll be back as soon as possible."

June pulled the handle and closed the Bridge before hurrying down the stairs to join Optimus. The big Autobot held the medic as he still twitched, he didn't even dare move and kept his optics on his struggling friend. He didn't know what else he could do, and there was not much June could do either, especially since Ratchet was much bigger than her.

"Alright, Optimus." she tried to reassure him, doing the only thing she could now, "It'll be over soon."

"What can I do?" asked the Prime, his voice was quiet and low and had a twinge of fear in it that June had never heard before.

"Nothing." the nurse answered him, "Just hold him. It is a seizure, and... hold his head up!"

Optimus did so when energon gushed out of the unconscious medic's mouth as his body seized up, but after that Ratchet seemed to calm down, his twitching slowly ceased and he went limp. June heaved a sigh of relief, but both she and Optimus remained still for a few more minutes, the Prime still held the other mech in his arms as if he was afraid the seizure would start again if he let go. But it didn't - Ratchet eventually opened his optics with a groan and coughed when he felt the bitter taste of unprocessed energon in his mouth.

"Ratchet?" it was Optimus, he recognized his voice and when his vision cleared, Ratchet could see the bigger Autobot leaning down to him.

"I passed out, huh?" the medic asked with a hoarse voice after a while and eyed the puddle of energon beside his face with a frown, "And purged... I guess everyone saw it?"

"No," June answered her, "we're alone. I thought you wouldn't want anyone to see it."

"Nice of you." Ratchet murmured and pushed himself up carefully with his servos. Optimus attempted to hold him back down, but June put a hand on his pede.

"It's okay," she told him gently, "help him sit."

Optimus then supported his friend with one arm as Ratchet steadied himself. His vents cycled air normally again in deep sighs as the medic looked around. They really _were_ alone, he could not even see the kids anywhere, which was a good thing, he thought as he looked down at his thighs when he felt wetness around them.

"Oh," he rolled his optics and turned away, "so I not only purged, but leaked myself as well. Just great."

"Ratchet, you had a seizure." June spoke up softly, "It's natural."

"We'll clean that up. Are you feeling better now, old friend?" Optimus asked him, his voice just as gentle. However, Ratchet had a confused frown on his face when he turned back to them and looked down at the human nurse.

"What did you say?" he asked, his voice merely a whisper.

"You had a seizure." June repeated and Ratchet's frown deepened. He looked down and June walked over to him, her tone was still gentle, "You probably don't remember anything from it."

"Right..." Ratchet murmured and shook his helm slowly, "Seizure... So, it wasn't just a... hangover."

He paused, looking down at the puddle on transfluids at his thighs, "But then, what...?"

"We'll figure out." Optimus reassured him and pulled him up carefully. Ratchet did not protest, he let the Prime lift him from the ground and lead him to the wash racks - he couldn't help notice the bigger mech held him as if he was some fragile porcelain, as if he could break at any moment. Ratchet didn't remember what happened, but a seizure was serious and he imagined it must have frightened Optimus, even if he acted calm for his sake.

Ratchet was still weak and shaky, but apart from a mild processor ache, nothing more, similar to lack of recharge. He was just confused, but figured it must have been an after-effect of the seizure. He had seen seizures in his life, many types, and knew they were usually the sign of chronic, sometimes even uncurable illnesses. Ratchet shook his helm; he noticed Optimus glancing at him with worry, but the medic quickly waved a hand to reassure him that he was alright now. He just needed to clear his processor and make up a diagnosis. He had to concentrate... he couldn't be sick.

Not when the others needed him.

June didn't let the kids back to the main room until Optimus escorted Ratchet to his quarters. That was when Bumblebee pulled in with Raf and the two youngsters looked around in wonder when they noticed the emptiness around them. June quickly walked up to Raf and told him to go out, too, to Jack and Miko and tell them that Ratchet was better now; he seemed confused, but June's expression was stern and he didn't dare argue with her. The nurse spoke from the woman, Raf recognized it and hoped his friends would explain to him just whatever happened to Ratchet, but seeing the sombre expression on Optimus' face, he knew it was nothing good.

"Bumblebee," the Prime called to the scout with a gentle tone, "please, would you help me clean up?"

Bumblebee eyed the puddles on the floor and looked back up at his leader with a questioning expression. Optimus thought it would be better if he did the explaining, "Ratchet collapsed and got a seizure this morning..." when he saw the young Autobot's optics widen, he put a hand on his shoulder, "but he's better now. He's recharging."

Bumblebee frowned and looked down. It was hard to process it and he just couldn't imagine the grumpy but ever helpful medic ill. Just how did this happen? And why? Why him?

_What does it mean?, _he asked eventually and Optimus turned to June. In fact, it was the question he longed to ask the woman as well.

"June," he called to her quietly, "what could this seizure mean?"

The woman stopped her pacing and when she looked up, she didn't try to hide her own anxiety from the Prime. "Seizure can be a sign of various illnesses." she started patiently, "And it was very... human-like. I don't know if such a thing exists in Cybertronian medicine... We'll make analysises, but either way, he's sick. Seriously. We'll all have to take care."

Optimus nodded. "We will do our best to help our medic... and be mindful of him."


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING: A few Cybertronian curses and sensitive subject. Eeer... that's all.

Thank you for all the favs and reviews!

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II.

Arcee looked down guiltily as she knocked on the door of Ratchet's quarters. Everybody except for June and Optimus stood behind her and waited for a response from inside. When She and Bulkhead arrived back successfully from the energon hunt, June told them and the children what happened, and even though she told them Ratchet was better now, they all wanted to see how he was doing. Arcee couldn't calm down until she saw with her own optics that their medic was really alright - she couldn't get away with the guilt and needed to speak to him.

She felt like a sparkling who needed reassurance that she didn't do anything bad. No response came for a while and the 'bots thought Ratchet was still in recharge when he finally called out for them to come in. Arcee opened the door, but neither of them dared take a step inside just yet; Ratchet was slowly sitting up on his berth, his optics were a little dim as it seemed he had just come out of recharge. When he saw the bunch of Autobots and humans at his door, Ratchet let out a small chuckle.

"You can all come in." he said, his voice sounded a bit tired still, "I know you're all dying to ask how I feel."

Arcee was the first to go inside and she was followed by the others. No one said anything for a while until the small femme spoke up.

"Ratchet, we are sorry." she began, and surprise ran along the medic's features.

"Why?"

"We should have taken better care." she answered and looked down again, "We shouldn't have made you drink that high-grade."

"Yes, Ratchet," spoke up Jack and stepped beside Arcee, "We didn't want this. If only I knew-"

Ratchet raised a servo to stop him. He sighed deeply before he looked up to the group, "_I_ shouldn't have accepted." he said, "It's not your fault. Believe me, the high-grade had nothing to do with this. Maybe I... didn't even have a hangover, those were all just forerunners of the seizure."

The others came closer, Bulkhead and Bumblebee sat down on the floor with Miko and Raf in their hands while Arcee sat down on the berth beside Ratchet. "So..." she began uncertainly, as if she didn't want to say the words, "it's an illness?"

The medic nodded slowly. "Most likely." he replied, "Something was malfunctioning in my processor. I'll... have to make examinations to find out what."

"Is it serious?" Bulkhead asked, earning another sigh from Ratchet. The mech knew it would be no use keeping secrets from his comrades - after all, if it really meant a severe illness, he needed them to know what was happening and needed their help.

"Maybe." Ratchet finally answered, but raised a servo, "But there's a chance that it's nothing, that I was merely... exhausted. I need to make a diagnosis. I can't say anything until then. I just need a little more recharge, and I'll be alright. Would somebody get me energon? My tanks are almost empty."

Bumblebee got up immediately, almost dropping Raf with the sudden movement. He beeped an apology and hurried out of the room to get a fresh cube of energon for Ratchet. The others got up as well and slowly exited the medic's quarters to let him have some rest - only Miko stayed. Throughout the visit, she was strangely quiet, too quiet for Ratchet's liking. He knew her enough and this silence meant something was very wrong, but he didn't know if it was because she was scared like the others or ill like him.

Primus, no! Ratchet didn't need anyone else to worry about right now.

"Ratchet?" the Japanese girl's voice snapped him back to reality. Miko stood in front of him and Ratchet reached down to pick her up and the mech placed her on the berth besides himself.

"I can reassure you, Miko, that I am fine now. Just a bit low on energy." the medic stated before Miko could say or asked anything. That was when Bumblebee knocked on the door and stepped in to give Ratchet the cube of energon he requested and went out again.

Miko just nodded and looked down. Ratchet frowned; there was definitely something wrong with her. "Is there something else?"

"Yeah." the girl answered and finally looked up to meet the Autobot's optics. Ratchet took a sip from the cube and looked at her expectantly. Miko continued, "You know that on Jack's birthday, a month ago... we held a party then with some of our friends and all... and on that party, we got a little... drunk."

Ratchet stayed silent and waited for her to continue. She did, "And, you know... me and Jack just... well, it just happened." she threw up her arms in despair, "I... I missed my period and for the past few days I felt strange. I made a pregnancy test and it's... positive."

The medic almost spat out the energon from his mouth. He was by then somewhat familiar with human biology and for one, he knew what that meant. It was the human equivalent of being sparked, which meant that the girl sitting next to him, the loud and brash, barely sixteen-year-old girl was having a sparkling - a baby, as the humans called it.

"Aren't you too young to be a carrier?" Ratchet asked, he couldn't hide his confusion.

"I am." Miko nodded and looked down again, "That's why I told you..."

"You want me to terminate it?" the mech asked softly. He knew it was a painful subject for femmes, and he got many requests to abort unborn sparklings during the war - no one wanted to bring a new life into a dying world. It was almost natural, and he didn't feel remorse over it anymore. Just an everyday procedure, though there were some who couldn't bring themselves to abort their sparkling even in times like those.

The way Miko looked up at him didn't clear anything. The girl's eyes were teary, but she didn't look angry. Just desperate.

"I thought about that, too." she finally answered, "but no... I can't bring myself to do that. I told you this because you are the best doctor in the world and... today, before all this seizure-thing started I wanted to ask you... to be my doctor."

Ratchet just starred at her for a long moment. "Miko," he started quietly and slowly, "you do realize that I am not a human doctor. I'm a Cybertronian medic and not an expert on human biology. Especially not human pregnancies. June would be a better choice to ask-"

"She's just a nurse!" Miko exclaimed, "And you are the best, Ratchet! I mean, I know you're not a human doctor, but... I guess I shouldn't ask you something like this when you're ill, right?"

"It's not that," Ratchet's voice suddenly grew gentle, "I would help you through it, but it's not that simple. It's been eons since the last time I helped to deliver a sparkling and... you'll have to tell June anyway. If what you said is true, then it's the child of her son. Have you told Jack?"

Miko shook her head, "You're the first. I... I know you wouldn't want another human at the base, especially not a crying baby, and now you have bigger problems than me. But I don't trust any doctor as much as you."

"I appreciate that, but..." he sighed. "I'll have to talk to June. But you have to... talk to her... first."

Miko frowned in confusion as Ratchet's servo that was holding the energon cube froze in midair and he starred at a point on the wall. His optics were wide and mouth slightly open as if he had just seen a ghost.

Maybe he did.

"Ratchet?" Miko asked, her heart was beating fast in fear the mech would get another seizure, "Ratchet, are you alright?"

The medic almost jumped when the girl spoke. "Fine, fine, I'm just... fine." he picked Miko up in a hurry and placed her carefully on the floor, "I need to rest." he said and looked back up at the empty point on the wall. Miko followed his gaze, but she couldn't see anything extraordinary. She figured it was really for the better to leave the doc alone for a while and she hurried out of the room.

Yes, she couldn't have seen what he saw. Ratchet, in fact, wasn't starring at the wall, but at what - or who - stood before him. The femme was tall, almost the same height as him, her chassis was silver and dark blue, like her name. The lack of insignia indicated she was a Neutral and the body style gave away her Paradronian origins. Her optics glowed a light blue and a playful smile rested on her lips. A smile Ratchet hadn't seen for many eons, because the one it belonged to was dead.

"Nightfall..." Ratchet whispered as he stood up carefully. He was now sure something was really wrong with his processor, but he couldn't care less at the moment. His spark fluttered in his chamber as the femme took a step forward to stand in front of him. "You're a hallucination, aren't you?"

The image of his long-dead mate chuckled a little. "I'm as real as you want me to be." and with that, she touched her lips to Ratchet's in a gentle kiss.

* * *

Miko knew Ratchet was right, but she truly didn't know what to expect. There was no way she was going to tell her host parents, they would contact her real parents and they would want her to go home - or worse, they would never allow her to go home anymore. But she didn't know what to expect from June. The woman would definitely freak out, but she came to accept the Autobots; maybe she could accept this, too, after a while.

And Jack...

Miko knocked on the door of Darbys' house and squeezed the little box she was holding in her hand. She had never felt so nervous in her life and wished this all - her pregnancy, Ratchet's illness - hadn't happened at all. Jack opened the door and smiled when he saw her.

"Hy, Miko! Come in."

Miko stepped inside the house and looked around. "Is your mom home?"

"No, but she'll come home soon." Jack replied, "Why?"

"I need to talk to you." Miko said quietly. Jack just nodded and led her to his room. He could see something was wrong.

"So? What is it?"

The Japanese girl shifted from one leg to the other. "Do you remember your birthday party? The first one."

Jack blushed and simply nodded. They had talked about that before and settled things. They knew it was just a drunk action, after all, they didn't love each other more than friends. Jack always considered Miko a great friend, but nothing more, and it was alright like that. Miko felt the same - she knew she could trust Jack and didn't feel anything more, not even now as she gave the little box to the boy.

Jack looked surprised, but took the box and opened it - and got the shock of his life when he picked up the positive pregnancy test. Miko watched his reaction and it was just like hers. Jack's face went white as he looked up at her then back to the test; sweat formed on his brow and his hand trembled when he finally looked up again at Miko.

"So, now... I'm going to be a father?"

Miko nodded, her face had gone pale as well. Jack's gaze travelled to her still-flat lower abdomen.

"Are you... angry?" she asked quietly, and Jack seemed to snap back to reality.

"What? Angry?" he asked with a confused frown, "Why would I be angry? I mean... yeah, it was kinda... unexpected, but I'm not angry at all."

At that moment, the front door opened and soon after that, June's voice could be heard as she said hello to her son. Jack stood up, still holding the positive test in his hand tightly. He imagined there was an equally scared expression on his face like the one he saw on Miko's, but he grabbed the Japanese girl's arm gently.

"She has to know. She's a nurse, she can help you."

"Are you sure you want this?"

Jack sighed, "I kept a secret from her once and it almost resulted in her being killed. I swore on that day that I won't keep secrets from her anymore."

"What secret?"

June stood at the door of Jack's room. She held a thick book in her hand titled 'Neurological diseases with seizures' and she looked quite tired. Jack sighed and glanced at Miko - the girl nodded and Jack gave the test to his mother.

Just one glance at it told June everything - she buried her face in her palm and turned away. The nurse collapsed on a chair in the kitchen and the two teenagers followed her. Jack could tell from the little tremors that ran through her body that she was crying. He put a hand on his mother's shoulder, though he knew nothing would calm her down now.

"Did you really need this?!" she finally exclaimed and looked up at the children, "You think I needed this now?! You are just teenagers! You are both so immature and irresponsible! What were you thinking?!"

Neither of them could say anything for a while and June forced herself to calm down. She felt just like back when she got to know Jack spent time with giant robots, that his motorcycle was in fact an intelligent female robot - the total loss of control gripped her heart. First Ratchet, now this... she wasn't ready for this. But she needed to be collected, after all these children must have been even more scared than her, but it didn't help her anger. She wiped the tears from her face and gestured to the teenagers to sit down as well.

"What do you want to do now?" she asked, her voice was still hoarse and low, "Abortion? Adoption?"

Miko looked down. "I... thought about abortion, but... No, I can't do that."

"I wouldn't forgive myself either." Jack joined in. His mother's face was still red and she looked more tired than ever.

"No, I guess you're right." she whispered and looked down at the test again, "So, you say I'm going to be a grandmother. Great, really. Just great. My ever mature and heroic son... I can't tell you how disappointed I am."

It took a while before she turned to Miko and continued, "I'll get you a doctor, Miko, and I'll take you to the hospital for an examination."

"I..." Miko began, "I already asked Ratchet. And he agreed."

She recieved the same stare from June Ratchet gave her earlier. "Miko," June sighed, "Ratchet is Cybertronian. And sick right now. He's not capable of handling a human pregnancy."

"But it's not a bad idea." Jack spoke up, "You could provide Ratchet with books. After all, if something happens to Miko while we're at the base, he has to know what to do."

June sighed. Yes, that one was right, but still... All June wanted was to wake up and see that it was all just a bad dream, all that happened that day. It just couldn't be real.

* * *

It was well in the evening, but Ratchet still couldn't recharge. He locked his door and turned back to the femme who was now sitting on his berth. Nightfall didn't look like a ghost, in fact, Ratchet was shocked to discover that he could even touch her and he walked back to her immediately. He felt a strange numbness in his legs, and almost fell on the berth. He pushed Nightfall down with himself and kissed her again forcefully, earning a soft moan from his mate. He then broke the kiss and started laughing almost histerically.

"I can't believe it." he said and shook his head, "I can even _taste_ you! You're dead! Frag it, you're dead!"

"Yet I'm here." Nightfall whispered gently. She made no attempt to get the bigger mech off her fragile chassis, didn't even try to get more comfortable.

"But why?!" asked Ratchet angrily.

"Maybe because you want me to be here." came the answer and Ratchet snorted.

"No." he said darkly, "I didn't want this. You are a hallucination... image, sound and senses that my processor wants me to believe I really feel, but you're not real. My slagging processor generates you. There must be something... something really wrong with me."

His voice softened by the time he finished talking. Nightfall put a gentle hand on his face. "You are the greatest medic in Cybertron's history. I am sure you can figure it out."

"_You _were a medic, too. That's why you're here? To help me figure it out? Or just to confuse me?"

"Or to make you happy."

The silver and blue femme raised her helm to kiss Ratchet again, much gentlier than he did earlier. Ratchet felt a pleasent shiver run down his backstrut and he let his servos travel down his lost mate's body, all the smooth curves of her chassis. It was just as he remembered and Ratchet felt a lustful heat fill his mind. He planted kisses on Nightfall's face and neck cables and travelled further down to her spark chamber. He felt an instant, intense need in his spark to join with hers and he let his chestplates slide open. The room lit up with the brighteness of his spark and was soon joined with the light of his mate's spark.

Ratchet threw back his helm and bit his lips to force back a loud groan - his spark reached out to the image of Nightfall and heavenly joy filled his every joint. He had never felt such a thing for eons and now that he could feel it again, he didn't want to let it go. Even if it was just his faulty processor playing with him, he grasped his sparkmate's arms and pulled her closer to himself. With a giant burst of light it ended and left Ratchet trembling in exhaustion.

Nightfall kissed him again after their chestplates slid back to place and Ratchet felt her small hand caress his lower abdomen, sending a new wave of arousal down to that part of his body. Ratchet pressed himself more against her and let her do whatever she wanted with him. He kissed her hungrily and slid his own servo down to her thighs. He felt the heat collecting at his lower abdomen and he wanted to have her, wanted her badly, more than anything...

Ratchet broke the kiss and sighed. "No." he whispered, "It won't work."

"If you want it, it will." Nightfall asked him, "I love you."

"No, I mean... literally." Ratchet sighed again and looked down at his legs. "I can't get an erection."

Nightfall pulled her servo up to his face and caressed it softly. "I know."

"Is it... another symptom?"

"Maybe."

Ratchet noted his whole body was trembling and he felt strange numbness in his pedes and servos. Weakness washed over him, but he didn't want to collapse on Nightfall, even if she was just a hallucination. He felt his mate's thin fingers travel down his chin and she raised her head up to whisper in his audio.

"Do you remember a girl named Starshadow?"

"Starshadow?"

Suddenly, Nightfall was gone and Ratchet let himself collapse on the berth. He curled and uncurled his fingers to get back some sensitivity and looked around in search for his mate. She was standing beside the berth and looked down at him, her optics glowed like ghost lamps in the dark, like two little stars in the night. Ratchet reached out his servo to touch her, but found that he couldn't hold his arm up far enough, like something was blocking his joint to move any more. The medic let his arm fall back on the berth and the moment it touched the surface, sharp pain shot through the limb.

Ratchet winced, but his features softened when he felt Nightfall's hand on his face again. He looked up at her to see her smile back.

"Search your memory banks." she said quietly, "You will know."

"Why did you have to die?"

"It wasn't your fault, Ratchet. I always loved you."

"Don't go away." the medic whispered pitifully, but Nightfall was gone once more.

And the warmth was gone as well - all that remained was the numbness and pain, and the emptiness of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

First, I want to thank you for the reviews again! Second, this chapter is not the finest, especially the end since I'm having an exam in an hour, but I wanted to post it before that. Apologies. and WARNING: there are some adult themes and curses.

Have a nice day!

* * *

III

Ratchet had to stop when he tried to connect the small and feeble cables to each other. When he put force into a movement, his hands began to shake, tiny spasms ran through his arm when he tried to rotate it. Sometimes it felt like the mechanoreceptors in his hands and legs were switched off, but it didn't last long and the medic tried to relax a little before he continued his work. Yet, these episodes of sensitivity loss unnerved him and once he almost collapsed halfway to the main room because his pedes suddenly went numb.

Ratchet sighed as he curled and uncurled his fingers. There was a light throbbing in his processor, not strong enough to distract his attention, but it was still there. He knew the problem lay not within his hands or his legs, but in his processor - an error that he did not yet know if he could fix.

It had been more than a week since the first sign of the illness. Ratchet hadn't had any more seizures since then, but he felt other symptoms; the shaky weakness in his limbs, the fatigue and his unstable mood made him compatible with a carrying femme. And it was just the beginning.

"Need some help with that?" Ratchet almost jumped when he heard Arcee's quiet voice. He was sitting on the floor of the medbay and as Arcee walked up to him, they were almost eye-level.

"Yeah, yeah... in fact, I do." the mech turned back to the machine he was working on and gestured for Arcee to come closer, "Your servos are smaller, could you connect those cables for me? Yes, those... just to each other."

"What is it, anyway?" the smaller 'bot asked.

"An ultrasound machine." Ratchet replied, "Human doctors monitor the development of the spar-... the fetus with machines like this."

"So, you're building this for Miko?" Arcee sounded surprised and a bit amused.

Ratchet waved to the pile of books on the floor. "It helps to keep me distracted." he murmured. June brought him several books after they agreed that the medic would help Miko in any way he could; books about pregnancy, fetal developement and birth, and about the machines and methods to monitor the changes. It didn't take long for Ratchet to read them all and decided he could do this much for the human girl - and it really _did_ help to keep his mind off the problems of his body that plagued him.

"I just didn't think you'd be into it so much." Arcee said and reached out a hand to Ratchet. "Give me your servo."

The medic did as he was told, he let Arcee take his servo into her much smaller ones and she started massaging the old, scarred hand.

Ratchet just shrugged, "That's the only thing I can do." he grunted, "Just because I'm sick I haven't become useless. At least, that's what I want to believe. I'm becoming slower and clumsier and it feels bad that I cannot function as medic at my fullest. And I never _hated_ the humans, my anger was always at my own helplessness at having to use their technology and because I want to go back to Cybertron... a _living_ Cybertron more than anything."

"You could have come to Paradron," said a quiet voice from behind him, "when I called you."

Ratchet fought the urge to turn around to see Nightfall. She appeared at random times as if the hallucination had a will of its own - Ratchet almost laughed at himself when he realized that he lost control even over his subconscious. He felt his mate's hand rest on his shoulder and he put his other servo there, just to feel her touch even more.

"Does it hurt?" Arcee asked and Ratchet snapped back to reality.

"What?" he asked back with a surprised frown.

"Your shoulder." the smaller 'bot pointed there, "You're clutching it."

Ratchet looked there and released his shoulder. "No, it's nothing." he pulled his servo from Arcee's and gave her his other hand. "This massage is calming."

Arcee smiled a little, "Thanks for telling me this." she said, "You never open up."

Ratchet snorted, "That's just not my style." he grumbled, "And I don't like being the patient anyway."

Though the massage felt really good, the medic felt that he had regained enough control over his servos and set back to work on the ultrasound machine. He seemed really determined on finishing it. Arcee always loved watching Ratchet at work, she admired the expertise and preciseness he handled the tools with - but now he had to stop sometimes for a few moments to ease the trembling of his servos.

"Doctors are the worst patients I guess." the two-wheeler chuckled.

"I have to agree on that." Nightfall's playful voice called from the background and Ratchet rolled his optics. He really wanted to turn around and snap at her that it was true the other way around, too. If only she really stood there, if only she could really be there!

"I don't know about that," Ratchet snorted, "but one thing is for sure; there's no one worse than Miko."

* * *

"WHAT?!"

Ratchet closed his optics and shook his helm. This was going to be a long day.

"I said, spread your legs." he repeated, trying to sound calm, but his patience was running thin.

Miko lay on a berth in the medbay and starred at the mech with wide eyes. Ratchet had completed the ultrasound machine the previous day and it was the first time they tried it out - the first time Miko had ever had an examination like that. June was kneeling by her head and put a hand on the young girl's shoulder.

"I'll cover you, Miko." she told her gently, "No one can see you here."

"B-but..." Miko looked from June to Ratchet frantically as the 'bot raised up the thin transducer, "I thought it's used _externally_! And is that a _condom_ on that probe?!"

"It's only six weeks old, the uterus hasn't moved upwards yet, I can't do an abdominal ultrasound until that!" Ratchet took a deep breath and added in a calmer tone, "I'm your doctor now, remember? Trust me."

Ratchet wanted to get over with it as soon as possible; not because he didn't want to treat Miko, but he needed his servos strong and steady for the task and he already felt himself weakening. He wanted to finish the examination before his hands started to tremble again - he didn't want to hurt Miko and his anger just grew at his own weakness.

Miko didn't say anything, but didn't calm down either. After a bit more persuading, she eventually let Ratchet begin and tried to distract herself from the uncomfortable sensation. She didn't notice the glances Ratchet and June exchanged - June sent the medic a questioning look as if to ask him if he would manage and the medic just nodded back. Ratchet wanted to do everything himself and June agreed she would not intervene until he asked her so. She knew Ratchet needed to feel that he was in control, that he could still do everything as efficiently as if his illness had never existed.

Miko quieted down and watched the machine's screen. She couldn't make out anything and turned to June who still held her hand on her arm and unconsiously stroked it as she watched the screen with an unidentifiable expression.

"So?" Miko asked quietly. The nurse turned back to her and smiled a little.

"It looks nice." she replied in a voice softer than Miko expected.

"There is one embryo." Ratchet murmured, "Sizes are good."

"Why can't we hear its heartbeat?" the Japanese girl asked timidly.

"It's too early." the mech answered for her, "but you can see it. There."

Ratchet pointed to a small flutter on the dark grey screen. It was hard to make it out, but it was definitely there, steady and rythmic. Even Ratchet couldn't help but be a little amazed; what a fragile, tiny being it was and it already had a beating heart. It was very similar to a tiny spark's pulse and the fact that life was so diverse and complex, yet so similar across worlds just made it all fascinating.

"Hey, Ratch."

They had finished and let Miko go, and as Ratchet switched off the machine he felt the human's small hand rest upon his arm. He shivered at the soft touch and looked down at June questioningly. The woman was very quiet throughout the examination, but tried to smile up at the mech as she said, "I'm proud of you."

"Oh?"

"You were really patient with Miko today." June said quietly, "I know it's not easy with her. And you seem really determined on this matter. Thank you for this."

Ratchet looked down at his servos. Both were trembling slightly and he wouldn't have admitted it, but he was more tired than he should have been. After all, he hardly did anything that day other than analyze his condition and research as much as he could - by the end, he had to concentrate hard to keep his servo steady. The medic sighed and turned back to June. He was aware the nurse was watching his every movement, her eyes didn't miss even the tiniest tremor, but she kept quiet about it. There was no need to upset Ratchet now.

"It was better than I thought." he finally said and let his servos fall into his lap, "And it's my job, anyway. And what about you? You look... pale."

June shook her head. "Nothing, it's just..." she heaved a deep sigh before she murmured, "it was my _grandchild_ on that screen."

Ratchet nodded, "I see. They are too young to be creators."

"Let's not talk about it." the nurse looked up at him, "How's your research going?"

Ratchet got up to fetch a datapad before going back to the medbay. He sat down on the berth and activated the device - he saw Nightfall sit down next to him on his other side from the corner of his optics and this time he couldn't fight back a glance at her direction. She put her servo on his leg, as if to reassure him and the medic took a deep breath.

"Look at this." he showed June the datapad. There were two pictures on the screen, each showing a processor of a transformer, the woman now recognized it. However, both of them were faulty; there was a blank spot in each, in the same place, as if the lights had been switched off at that area. Ratchet pointed to the processor on the right, "That was the processor of one of my patients back on Cybertron. Starshadow." he pointed to the other picture, "And that is mine."

"So, you know the illness?"

_Who is Starshadow?,_ Bumblebee asked, interrupting them. He had just walked into the medbay, he carried a cube of energon in one of his servos and gave it to Ratchet. The medic gratefully took some sips from the energon before he answered the scout's question.

"Starshadow was a young Paradronian femme. A child. We called her disease Starshadow-syndrome because she was the first and only known case. Until now, I guess." the medic changed the picture; this time, it showed a processor with an even bigger dark spot on it and several smaller spots around it, "By the time she was bought to Cybertron, her condition was severe. She couldn't stand, couldn't grab things, couldn't refuel on her own and her speech was hard to understand. I worked in Crystal City at the time and I was called in to help treat her and find out what had caused the illness." Ratchet sighed, "I got her medical history, too. Her symptoms also started with a seizure. She got worse with each seizures she had. It was like during a seizure, something wiped out a portion of the neurocircuits. Or at least, the connection between them. The Paradronian medics asked for our help because they couldn't find the cause... nor a cure."

He waited a moment before he added, "Needless to say, our symptoms match. My analysis showed that my processor is in a similar state than Starshadow's was at the beginning of her illness."

June and Bumblebee sat in complete silence for a while. The woman kept her hand on Ratchet's side as she digested the information. "Is the damage... reversible?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know." Ratchet murmured and lowered the datapad, "We never got that far."

_Does this mean that... y-you didn't... find a cure?,_ Bumblebee's optics were wide and coolant shone in their corners. Ratchet looked at him, but couldn't answer - he didn't need to. He put a servo on the younger mech's shoulder, "Bumblebee..."

However, he couldn't finish his sentence. The scout threw his arms over his chassis and buried his face in Ratchet's chestplate. The medic dropped the datapad in surprise, but his servo was soon on Bumblebee's back and stroked him in small circles between his doorwings, trying to soothe him. Ratchet expected this and he was already nervous now that he had to tell the others what he had found. He tried to compose himself the night before, when he put the pieces together, but now that Bumblebee was crying just above his spark, he felt fear returning to his mind.

"What happened?"

Ratchet looked up when he heard Optimus' quiet voice. The Autobot leader looked surprised to see Bumblebee holding onto the medic as if he could disappear at any moment.

"I... have the diagnosis."

* * *

Yes, Ratchet lost all the confidence he gathered when he had to tell the others.

They waited until everyone got back - Jack was the last, Arcee went to pick him up from work and first, when he arrived, Miko insisted that he have a look at the ultrasound pictures they made during the examination. The boy held the pictures for a long time, his face was white, but a small smile crept to his lips. It was a strange feeling indeed, and when he looked at his mother, he thought she felt the same, but then he could see something was different. June quietly led him to the medbay and Jack saw immediately that something was terribly wrong - Bumblebee sat next to Ratchet on the berth and lay in the medic's lap, his helm resting on the older mech's thigh. He looked like a frightened child and there was still some dried coolant on his face. Ratchet didn't seem to mind, his servo rested on the scout's arm. The others sat around them and Jack felt his chest tighten as he came up next to Arcee.

"It's not good, is it?" Jack asked quietly.

Arcee looked down at him and shook her helm, "No." she whispered, but just one glance at Ratchet was enough for Jack to know it - he had never seen the medic so upset before.

"Tell us what you know, Ratchet." Optimus told him quietly when everyone was finally there. Ratchet sighed before he started,

"When I examined myself, I remembered a case I once had on Cybertron." it was hard to keep his voice from wavering, but he continued, "Starshadow-syndrome. It's a neurodegenerative disease that disables the connection between neurocircuits in the processor. The cause is... unknown. We only had one case, and there was no time to come up with a cure."

"Wait, wait," Bulkhead raised up his servos, "does this mean there's no cure?"

Ratchet vented heavily, "By the time Starshadow arrived to our hospital, it was too late. She was dying and we couldn't save her. Then, the war broke out and all researches were cancelled... we hardly know anything about this disease."

"But, Ratchet..." it was Raf this time, his voice was quiet and thin, "you're not dying... right?"

"If I can't find out what causes it... and even then, there's no guarantee I would find a way to cure it." the medic shook his helm and his voice broke, "I'm sorry."

No one dared say anything. Bumblebee still refused to get up from Ratchet's lap and now the three teenagers also gathered at his pedes, hugging them. Arcee kneeled down before the berth and lay her head to the medic's side. Bulkhead looked down and shook his helm as well. Optimus was the only one who hadn't moved, but he was the first who spoke up - his voice was faint and his optics seemed dimmer as he asked, "But now that you have diagnosed it in an early stage... can you make research on the cause?"

"Yes, yes, I can." Ratchet answered quickly and wiped away the single drop of coolant that rolled down his face, "I'll work on it as much as I can. However, even if I manage to come up with something alone... who would treat me? A processor is not child's play and none of you have the medical knowledge to operate on me if necessary."

"So..." Bulkhead began uncertainly, "we need to find someone to do it."

"Do we know any other medic?" Ratchet asked, his voice suddenly sounded tired.

Optimus stood up, "I'll send an interstellar message to ask for help."

"Well," Arcee began and raised up her helm - she put her small servo on Ratchet's that he kept on her shoulder, "We do know a medic, and we don't have to travel light-years to get him."

"Knock Out?" Ratchet snorted, "He would sooner cut me to pieces."

"Then we will make him cooperate." Bulkhead said confidently and got up as well.

"Still," Ratchet sighed, "even if we can find a medic, that doesn't mean the problem is solved."

He felt a large servo rest upon his shoulder and Ratchet looked up to see Optimus stand next to him, "We'll do everything we can to make you better, old friend. I could not bear the thought... of losing you."

The next couple of days went by uneventfully. Ratchet buried himself into learning more about human biology and pregnancy and reading through Starshadow's medical history over and over again. He hoped he would find something, something that he missed earlier or misinterpreted - he even asked June to give him books about neurological disorders in hope he would get an idea where to begin. In the end, he was so exhausted he fell asleep sitting in the medbay with his back against the berth.

Nothing seemed to break the tension until one day an alarm sounded through the base. Optimus was the first to run up to it - he was hoping for an answer to the message he had sent out, but it was nothing of the sort. The Prime shook his helm.

"Energon movement." Ratchet said quietly as he walked up next to him and soon the others gathered at the computer, too.

"Well, it's been a while." Arcee smiled a little.

"I'm activating the GroundBridge." Ratchet told them, "Don't take too long. I'm not in the mood for serious injuries today."

"Alright." Optimus turned to the colourful whirlwind of the opening GroundBridge, "Transform and roll out!"

The moment Bulkhead stepped out of the Bridge and saw the Decepticon miners, supervised by Knock Out, he felt excitement build up in him - if Knock Out was around, he never came without Breakdown. However, before his servo could transform into a mace, he reminded himself that his long-time rival wasn't there, couldn't be there anymore - he was killed by Airachnid and so Knock Out was left alone to take care of the operation. And that made another wave of excitement surge through him.

No one answered Optimus' message so far, and they didn't have eternity to wait for a medic to show up - they had to take Knock Out to the Base and get him to help Ratchet, whether he wanted it or not. This was their chance now.

Bulkhead grabbed Bumblebee's arm and told him his plan. The scout was a bit reluctant at first as he looked at the Decepticon doctor, but he eventually nodded. He knew Ratchet would be furious, but he couldn't do it alone and Knock Out was probably the only one who could help him.

When Optimus gave the order to start, the two 'bots immediately made their way to Knock Out. The shock on the mech's white face turned into an angry frown as the Autobots started their attack. "Shoot them down!" he cried out and his order was answered in less than a nanoklik. However, the shock returned to his face when he saw Bulkhead and Bumblebee run straight towards him. If it had only been the scout, he could have taken him down alone, but not with the wrecker helping him. He didn't care about Megatron's anger at another lost mine when he transformed and started driving away at the highest speed - his safety was more important.

"Coward!" he heard Bulkhead shout after him, "Come back and fight like a 'con!"

Knock Out was sure Breakdown's formal rival would not reach him, but he didn't expect Bumblebee to be faster than him. It was all a blur at first, when the yellow 'bot jumped down in front of him. Knock Out braked painfully, but he couldn't stop soon enough - the younger mech smashed into his front and they stopped after rolling a few more meters. Bumblebee stopped him with his bare servos and Knock Out could already feel the pain of the dents on his front from the collision.

However, that was nothing compared to the agony that came a moment later - the red medic cried out as Bulkhead's massive servo dug into his frame and broke his windshield. "No, you're not going anywhere." he heard the former wrecker growl above him, "You're coming to Base with us."

Knock Out transformed back to his robot mode. His whole body was shaking with anger and pain and he gritted his dentas, "Get your filthy servos off me, you slag!"

He transformed his hand into his buzz saw and struck it across Bulkhead's chest - what he recieved in return was first a fist to the side of his face and then a mace into his abdomen. He heard a sickening crack and soon felt the nauseating pain flood his processor; Knock Out fell to his knees and retched. His ventilations were quick as he looked up at the two Autobots - there was a long crack on his faceplate and bright energon was trickling down at the side of his mouth. "Frag you all." he murmured and spat energon to Bulkhead's face.

The wrecker raised his arm again to deliver a blow, but Bumblebee put a servo on his shoulder and shook his helm - there was no need for further damage. Bulkhead took a deep breath and concentrated on stopping the trembling of his own servos; it was just anger, because he really saw no other way he could help Ratchet. They needed Knock Out, and it was apparent he wouldn't come himself. In spite of this, Bulkhead felt a little ashamed that he lost control of himself so much as he and Bumblebee lifted the Decepticon medic up to his pedes. Knock Out didn't fight anymore, the huge, cracked dent on his abdominal plating was leaking energon and it seemed he was losing strenght quickly.

"Ratchet," Bulkhead activated his , "we need a GroundBridge."

When they arrived back to the mine, the whirling Bridge was already there and it seemed the fight for the energon ended. When Optimus and Arcee saw Bulkhead and Bumblebee carry the heavily bleeding Knock Out, they were shocked - the Prime walked up to them with a slight frown.

"Bulkhead, Bumblebee," he called to them, "are you certain this is the only way?"

"Well," the wrecker shrugged, "Ratchet heals him and in exchange, he'll treat Ratchet for us."

That was when Knock Out spoke up for the first time through gritted dentas, "If you hadn't beaten me almost to death-"

"All the same." Arcee interrupted him as she walked up to them as well, "Seems you're our prisoner now. After all, he had lost lots of energon and we can't just leave him alone in this state, can we, Optimus?"

The old mech sighed and shook his helm. "We'll take you to our Base, Knock Out. I am sure Ratchet will not refuse to heal your wounds."

"By the AllSpark, what were you thinking?!"

They all knew Ratchet would not be too enthusiastic about it all, but it had been a long time since Bumblebee saw him this furious. He and Bulkhead led Knock Out to the medbay and lay him down on a berth. Ratchet was giving him painkillers and when he was finished, he prepared an IV for the half-conscious Decepticon.

_There is no one else, Ratchet.,_ Bumblebee answered, though he knew it wouldn't calm the medic down.

"I'm aware of that, Bumblebee." Ratchet growled, "But Knock Out is an egoistic, sadistic 'con who cares for no one but himself."

"That's true." Knock Out mumbled, his optics half-closed, "You were idiots... to think I would help."

Ratchet's servo curled into a fist as he glared down angrily at the Decepticon lying on the berth. "A low excuse for a medic." he hissed and saw Knock Out frown, but the other mech didn't snap back to that.

"He'll have no other choice." Bulkhead said and Ratchet snorted to that.

"They don't change that easily." he replied, "We have seen that several times. Think about Starscream."

"It's different." Arcee joined in, "He can't go anywhere. And if it's about your pride, Ratchet, no one would be good enough for you."

The medic took a deep breath to calm down. Maybe he really _was_ too proud, but he would never admit that - still, as he looked down at the dazed Decepticon, he doubted he would be the solution to his problem, especially when he started smirking despite his condition.

"Why would you need me, anyway?" Knock Out asked, though his voice was feeble, "You got high on that synthetic energon again?"

Ratchet glared down at him for a long moment before he pointed at him and asked with a sarcastic tone, "So, you say this is my only chance?"

"Sometimes help comes in unexpected ways, old friend." he heard Optimus speak as the Autobot leader walked into the medbay. No one said anything, only the beeping of the spark monitor filled the bay that was attached to Knock Out's chestplates. Ratchet imagined the situation the other way around with him lying on the berth and Knock Out standing above him - what would he do? Was it really the hope they were looking for?

Maybe he was just too pessimistic. Maybe the others were right and he needed to give it a chance. Yet, Ratchet shivered at the thought that perhaps his life now depended on the helpless Decepticon lying before him.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello! First, I want to tell you that this isn't the full chapter, but it turned out to be so long that I decided to split it in two. The other part I will upload today or tomorrow, whenever I have time to finish it.

Have a nice day!

* * *

IV.

June Darby was certain she was going to be a nervous wreck by the evening. The last time she read so much was back when she was studying to be a nurse and even then she didn't feel so anxious. She kept starring at the datapad Ratchet had given her with pictures of his processor and the analysises he had made so far. June sighed; she wished she could consult with a doctor, have a neurosurgeon help her figure out what these blank spots could mean in the brain that was so similar to theirs. Those patterns reminded her of something, she knew she had seen MRI pictures of neurological diseases that appeared to have the same spots that Ratchet's processor had, but she couldn't remember the name...

All of a sudden, the nurse got up from the table and hurried into her bedroom. She still had her books from her college years that she had studied from and she remembered one that had various pictures from diagnostic machines in it - her heart was pounding hard against her ribs when she found the book and sat down on her bed to look through it. There must be something in it, she knew it; there was an educational image, that had to be the one. She just hoped it would be in that book and a new wave of excitement washed over her as she rushed through the pages until she found what she was looking for.

Yes, it was there. It wasn't the perfect quality, but it was still good enough to make a comparison of the two pictures. The book identified the image as an MRI of a patient with multiple sclerosis. Multiple sclerosis...

June had never dealt with anyone with that kind of disease and she didn't remember exactly the signs, but she did know it was a variable illness. She activated the datapad again and brought together the list of Ratchet's and Starshadow's symptoms, then activated her own computer. She eagerly searched the medical sites to look for the possible causes, signs and progression of the illness. She downloaded all she found onto the datapad and sat still for a long moment.

She didn't know if she should feel relieved, didn't know if her discovery was good news at all. After all, no cure existed for multiple sclerosis, but maybe it would give them direction where to search for the cause of Ratchet's condition and if they succeed, that could provide them with enough knowledge to create a cure as well. June got up from her bed and clutched the datapad to her chest as she ran out to the garage.

It made both Jack and Arcee jump when the door burst open and June stormed in straight to her car. In her hurry, it took her a moment to notice her son and his motorcycle sitting on the table and the floor respectively, with both giving her strange looks.

"Is there an emergency, mom?" Jack asked. Since his mother moved to the emergency room, she had moments like this when she just rushed away to the hospital after recieving a call from the doctors for serious accidents, but this was different. Those times, she was stern and collected, fully in control of her emotions; now, her eyes were wide and her face red and she clutched the datapad as if she was holding on for dear life.

"No... nothing like that." June answered and took a deep breath to calm down a little. She raised up the datapad, "I just found something and I need to tell Ratchet. The sooner the better."

"Can I give you a ride?" Arcee offered.

"Yes." June nodded with a smile, "That would be nice."

Seeing how excited she was, maybe it was for the better she didn't have to drive. She climbed up behind Jack when Arcee was finished transforming back to her alt mode and they started driving out of Jasper.

"It was an original House-moment back home, mom." Jack chuckled, "Is it good news?"

June sighed. "Ratchet will decide that. I just hope we can use it."

* * *

"Ratchet," Optimus' voice reached his audios, "Knock Out is coming back online."

It was the Prime's turn to watch over the Decepticon medic since he was forced into recharge by Ratchet so he could work on him without disturbance. Now Knock Out groaned as his systems came back online and his face pulled into a painful grimace as he started coughing violently. He felt someone push his helm to the side as half-processed energon trickled down his chin and the side of his face, when his crimson optics lit up as well, he saw the Autobot medic, Ratchet holding him in place. Knock Out spat the last of the energon into the bucket that was held up for him and wiped his face with the cloth Ratchet had given him.

"So... it wasn't just a nightmare." he growled.

"Unfortunately." Ratchet grumbled back, "Your fuel tanks were damaged badly, but your auto-repair system is working just fine." the older mech raised up a cube of energon, "So, are you ready to take it orally or should I give you an IV?"

Knock Out eyed the energon and winced. His systems reported that most of the damage had been dealt with and repair nanites were working on the wounds; his energy levels were low, but his body was still sore and weak and just the thought of drinking the cube sent a queasy wave through his tanks.

"IV." he replied, "But not with those shaking hands of yours. I'd rather not have another ruptured vein."

Ratchet had been up all day and by then, he felt pretty tired and irritable - he concentrated on keeping his servos steady while he repaired Knock Out, but after all that, he did not have the strenght to do so anymore. He felt fatigued and the last thing he needed was some Decepticon rubbing his weakness in his face. His mouth pulled into a thin line and he threw the IV bag onto Knock Out's chest.

"Then do it yourself!" he growled forcefully and left the medbay muttering something under his breath. His steps seemed heavy as he dragged himself towards the personal quarters and Optimus sighed as he watched the scene. They had learnt over time not to mention any sign of weakness to Ratchet, especially not when he was in a bad mood.

"Throwing a tantrum again?" they heard Arcee ask as she pulled into the main room. She transformed back into her robot mode and walked into the main room.

Ratchet didn't even turn around. "I'm going to recharge." he grumbled.

"Ratchet-"

"What now, June?!" Ratchet snapped and whirled around to face the woman, "I'm really not in the mood for-"

"If you would be willing to grow up," June's voice cut the air like a diamond, it sent shivers through even Optimus, "I found something we could use, but I need you to check it."

Ratchet frowned and took a deep breath before walking up to the railing. His anger was reduced to a little bit of irritation now that exhaustion took its place again. "What is it?"

"A human analog."

June activated the datapad and gave it to the surprised mech. Ratchet's optics widened when he looked over the pictures and read the description June had gathered for him. His gaze became distant and the woman could almost hear his processor working at full speed, combining and calculating until a shrill voice from the medbay interrupted him.

"Would someone help me with this?!"

Ratchet rolled his optics and trudged back to the berth where Knock Out lay. He grabbed the IV bag from the Decepticon, muttering something about even his grand-carrier having a better aim, and struck the needle with the IV tube into the Aston Martin's arm. Knock Out winced, but didn't say anything this time. He was still weak and outnumbered and thought it would be better not to push his luck. The red mech wasn't stupid; he knew he had no chance of escaping with all of the Autobots around, and not even Soundwave could have detected his signal inside their Base. He was trapped and could do nothing about it - with a deep sigh, he lay his head back down on the berth.

"Who is that?" June asked quietly when she saw the red Decepticon.

"He is Knock Out," Optimus answered for him quietly, "the Decepticon's medic."

Said medic turned his helm towards them when he heard his name, but turned away immediately with a huff when he saw the two humans starring at him. Normally, he liked attention, but here it was different; he was a prisoner, something to be starred at - and by HUMANS at that. It was beyond humiliating, but he wouldn't let them see how uncomfortable he was, instead he just continued listening to their conversation.

Ratchet sat down on another berth and waved to June to come over. The nurse hurried into the medbay with Optimus and Arcee, and Bumblebee soon joined them, too. This crowd started to unnerve Knock Out, and he stubbornly kept his helm turned away from them. There was silence for a while until the old medic spoke with a quiet voice.

"So... it says this multiple sclerosis is an autoimmun disease," he said, still facing the datapad, but it was clear he was talking to June only, "that's when the body's immune system turns against the body itself."

"Yes, to put it simple." June replied, "Does something similar exist in Cybertronian medicine?"

"Yes." Ratchet nodded absently with a distant shine in his optics, "There had been cases when repair nanites turned against the body's own systems... but never the processor."

He stopped a little to think and Knock Out caught himself waiting for him to continue - he may have hated these robots, but he was still a medic and it started to sound morbidly interesting.

"A malfunction in the auto-repair center of the processor could modify the primary programming of the nanites." Ratchet murmured to himself, "But with Starshadow, it seemed her nanites weren't working at all, and we couldn't find any in her energon samples. We thought her auto-repair system stopped working, but that was not the case. In fact, we didn't see any damage in that part of the processor, it was located elsewhere. And... mine isn't damaged either."

"Maybe it's a hidden malfunction." June spoke up, "You said Starshadow got worse after each seizure. Maybe it's the nanites themselves-"

"-that wipe out the neurocircuits." Ratchet finished with a new wave of excitement on his face, "A glitch in the auto-repair center starts the seizure, but the repair nanites that are sent out to stop it or fix the damage disable the connection between the neurocircuits instead. Those are the blank spots on the pictures."

"But then," Arcee interrupted, "why aren't those blank spots on the auto-repair center?"

Ratchet thought for a while, never turning away from the datapad, "The muscolatory circuits twitch during a seizure, and those are controlled by the motor cortex - that's the area that is slowly wiped out. Starshadow's cognitive functions and memories were hardly affected... and that's the same with me."

At that moment, he turned sharply to June who was still standing next to him. "Do you have a method to induce seizure?"

Everyone starred at him in complete silence as if he had just told them Megatron would give up the war and join the Autobots. His question rang in the air for a long moment, and Optimus was the first to break the tension when he spoke; "But, Ratchet... you said Starshadow got worse with each seizure..."

Disbelief still lingered in his voice. He had known Ratchet for millions of stellar cycles and knew that the medic was willing to go to extremes if he was sure the action would save a life - he even used himself as a test subject when he experimented with that synthetic energon, but it was far more serious now. He deliberately wanted to make himself worse to find out what the problem was.

Bumblebee let out a soft whine-like sound and grabbed hold of Ratchet's arm. The medic sighed and patted the young scout's servo.

"Because this is just a theory," he answered the yellow mech's question, "and I need to prove it."

"By making yourself go into a seizure?" Arcee asked back angrily, but the anxiety was evident in her voice, "Like when you injected yourself with that Synth-En? Really bright, Ratchet, just make yourself sicker than you already are!"

"Arcee!" Optimus' voice was stern for once, a rare occasion that only occured when he himself could no longer restrain his distress, "There's no need to argue."

"Yes, because I'm going to do it anyway." Ratchet got up and walked over to wheel another monitor to the berth he was sitting on. He then turned back to June and asked her again, his tone sharper this time, "So? Do you have a method?"

"Well..." June began quietly, "There is a simple way to cause seizure. But I don't know if it will work on you."

"Try it." Ratchet ordered and sat back down on the berth.

"June-" Optimus was interrupted immediately by the nurse now standing by Ratchet's waist.

"I'm sorry, but I can't see any other way either."

"I need you to stay, Optimus." Ratchet told him, he was trying to make his voice sound gentler than earlier, "Arcee, Bumblebee, please go out. I don't want you to see this."

Arcee and Bumblebee looked at each other with a frown. The yellow scout unconsciously tightened his grip on Ratchet's arm, causing the medic to wince a little. He knew it was hard for him, but he couldn't think of anything else and as crazy as it may have sounded, he needed them to understand why he would choose such a drastic method. "It's merely for diagnostics." he said quietly, "It won't be long, and... I'll be fine."

_Not as if you could control it_, June thought, but bit her lips before she could say it out loud. She promised Ratchet she would help him in any way she could, and she knew it would be useless to argue with him. It was clear that desperation drove him to experiment on himself, but she was just as desperate to finally find out what was causing his illness.

"You're crazy." they all snapped their heads to the other berth where Knock Out lay. The Decepticon had been watching them for a while, but kept himself from talking so far. This he couldn't hold back any longer; whatever this condition was, he was sure the Autobot medic was losing his mind.

_Why can _he_ be here?,_ Bumblebee finally asked, though his attempt to put anger in his voice was feeble.

Ratchet sighed and turned to talk to Knock Out for the first time. "Ever seen a seizure, kiddo?"

The other medic frowned at being called that and opened his mouth to protest, but then pressed his lips tight and through gritted dentas he only said, "Depends."

"It's like a dying creature writhing in pain." Ratchet murmured and turned back to his comrades, "That's why I don't want you to watch this. Knock Out should have seen worse, I'm not afraid to break his little spark."

The Decepticon medic huffed and turned away again like a sulking child. This reminded June very much of Ratchet when he himself acted like a temperamental, immature youngling, but she kept herself from mentioning the similarities between the two mechs - Ratchet would never talk to her again if she compared him to a Decepticon.

"Don't worry," he gave Bumblebee's servo a squeeze, "I'm not offlining myself. I'll be alright."

Arcee folded her arms around her chassis, seemingly refusing to leave still; she then put a gentle hand on the scout's shoulder and led him out of the medbay. Ratchet sighed and turned back to Optimus.

"Do you still remember how to take energon sample?"

Optimus nodded quietly and walked over to a cabinet to take out an empty ampoule. He showed it to Ratchet and the medic smiled a little. "Good. You have to take a sample from me right after the seizure. Nanites will be flooding my veins and I need to analyse them."

While he was talking, Ratchet attached sensors to his helm and activated the monitor. It showed a steady wave with a few jumps here and there - then the picture moved upwards and below it appeared an image of a processor showing its inner workings. The tiny dark spots - now all of them knew they were groups of inactive neurocircuits - could be seen perfectly. "I set it to recording." Ratchet told them, "I hope it will show the source of the seizure."

The old medic sighed. "We could have never done this to Starshadow. One more seizure could have killed her instantly."

Knock Out found himself no longer able to resist looking towards them. He still had a hard time believing that this mech would deliberately hurt himself just to find out what was making him sick and save his own life - he was either brilliantly brave or gravely stupid. The 'con was sure he would never do such a thing to himself, rather have someone else suffer for his benefit; it was just the way he did everything. Knock Out never gave a second thought to such a thing, but to see an act like this confused him. The human, who he thought must have been a medic of some sort, too, seeing the amount of trust Ratchet had in her, seemed willing help him, and even the big and mightly Optimus Prime stayed to aide him in causing himself harm.

Self-sacrifice for the sake of... the truth? To help?

Ratchet lay down on the berth on his side and Optimus positioned himself above him - he held down the medic's arm and waist gently. The almost emotionlessly serious Prime couldn't hide a worried frown that told June he must have been in just as much distress as Bumblebee was. But he was stronger, needed to be strong for Ratchet's sake. They had been friends for eons, he knew he was the only one Ratchet trusted enough to witness the weaknesses of his body and hold him down during the seizure. He knew Optimus would never refuse to help him, even if he disagreed with the idea first.

June kneeled down next to Ratchet's helm and pulled out her keys from her pocket. She had a flashlight keychain that she hardly ever used and sighed. Ratchet frowned a little when he saw it, but said nothing - he had learnt not to underestimate the humans and just hoped June's method would work on him. There was no going back now.

The woman put a hand on the medic's warm metal face, caressing it softly that sent pleasent shivers down Ratchet's backstrut.

"Are you sure?" she asked one more time, her eyes met Ratchet's optics.

"Yes."

She nodded and held the flashlight to the mech's optics and started rapidly switching it on and off. Nothing happened for a while and Ratchet started to get irritated. He held back a sigh though, but when he wanted to tell June to stop flashing the light into his optic because it was useless, he felt himself growing dizzy and light-headed. There was a light squeeze in his vents that just grew stronger, however, he lost consciousness before he could think of anything else.

When June saw the medic's optics roll back as his vents forced the air out of his systems in a high, groaning wheeze, she jumped away and climbed down from the berth and went to the computer. The waves on the upper monitor jumped frantically and a light spot shone up on the picture of the processor - light waves spread from that source at blinding speed and then, tiny sparkles flooded Ratchet's brain and finally concentrated on the area where June knew the blank spots were.

"The nanites..." she whispered and turned back to Ratchet. The mech's body was still convulsing and Optimus was doing his best to hold him without hurting him. The Prime, though he knew what was happening now, still felt fear clutch his spark as his old friend kept writhing violently under his hands.

He looked up in hope to meet Knock Out's optics - he caught the Decepticon's gaze. Knock Out's own red optics still shone with shock and he saw a strong emotion in those bright blue eyes of the other, pleading to him to understand why they needed his help.

Ratchet calmed down slowly and his body went limp. The Autobot leader still didn't let go of him, it was June who snapped him back to reality.

"Optimus," she called to him gently, "take the sample."

The large mech nodded and carefully struck the think needle into an energon vein on Ratchet's neck. June turned back to the monitors; the nanites still sparkled on the picture, though they weren't flickering as rapidly as before - and in their wake, the blank spot in the medic's processor grew significantly.

It took longer for Ratchet to regain consciousness this time. He online his optics with a groan and attempted to tear off the sensors from his helm. His movements were shaky and hurried as he pushed himself up.

"Bucket." he groaned out.

Optimus grabbed the nearest bucket and held it up for the medic as his tanks forced the raw energon out of his system. His cooling fans started whirring while he purged and he vented violently once he was finished to cool down his overheating systems. He was grateful to Optimus for holding him still as he sat hunched over the bucket, breathing heavily, his tanks still rolling. Ratchet's whole body was trembling like crazy, but he found the strenght after a while to speak.

"So... it was successful?" he asked hoarsely.

"Yes." June answered him, "The computer recorded everything and the sample is ready."

"Freeze it." Ratchet croaked out, "I'll analyse it tomorrow."

He coughed, but his tanks slowly calmed down and he put the bucket away. The medic leant back against Optimus' chest and looked at Knock Out with dim optics.

"I hope you don't need help with taking that infusion out." he grumbled and the Decepticon turned away. He completely forgot about his own pain and the energon drip still in his arm. Knock Out couldn't say anything and did not turn back again to look at the two Autobots.

"Could you help me back to my quarters?" Ratchet asked Optimus, his voice quiet and weak, and the Prime lifted him up carefully. June looked after them as they strode slowly towards the personal quarters.

She hoped dearly that it was all worth it in the end.


	5. Chapter 5

Here is the other part of the chapter. :) It wasn't checked, so I apologize for the errors...

* * *

V.

"It was just as we thought. The auto-repair center. The nanites' programming have been altered and they stop working in less than a joor."

It had been two days since Ratchet's self-induced seizure and he already felt the effects. He now felt fatigued most of the time and couldn't stay standing for long. The periods of sensitivity loss grew longer and his movements became shaky if he tried to put force into them - but he was still the grumpy medic they all knew.

Nightfall stood at the edge of the berth, her arms folded over her chassis. She didn't look pleased, but Ratchet couldn't care less; he hadn't seen her for days, and he knew only his subconscious was talking through her.

"You have always been the Universe's most brilliant idiot," she replied quietly, "but don't think I would have agreed. You could persuade the others because they aren't medics, they trust that you know better. But tell me, what would you have told someone else with the same idea?"

"I would've called them stupid without thinking." Ratchet answered, "I never said I wasn't stupid. But it worked, Fall. And that's all that matters to me."

"You still need to find a cure." Nightfall reminded him, but she let herself be pulled into an embrace. They sat down and Ratchet pulled her to his lap. He kissed her behind her audials and along her jawline, planting soft kisses onto her neck and moved down to her chest. Ratchet took a deep, shaky breath when he felt the warm vibrations of his bondmate's spark that tempted his own chest plates to slide open so their sparks could join.

Ratchet rested his head on Nightfall's chest and pulled her smaller frame closer to himself. "If I find a cure," he murmured, "I will lose you. You'll disappear as quickly as you came. It's either you or my life."

"Ever the pessimistic." Nightfall chuckled, but then breathed a light kiss on his helm, "You know what to choose."

"I'd rather choose you." he said, "If the Well of All Sparks really exists and you are really there, I want to join you."

"Yes, and then you would blame me for having to leave this world." Nightfall pulled Ratchet's head up and kissed him gently, "You're not that selfish, even if you think you are."

"Why can't I be selfish for once?" Ratchet growled.

"Once?" Nightfall asked back, "What was it with this seizure? When all your friends stood worrying for you because you have such bright methods for diagnosis. Knowing your twisted mind, I say this is not really about saving yourself, it's rather the thrill of a medical mystery that you want to solve even by hurting yourself - and you just don't notice that all your friends are worried sick for you."

The medic grumbled something, but refused to answer. Seeing this, Nightfall caressed his face and leant her forehead to his. "About time someone kicked you in the aft."

"Well... you weren't my mate for nothing." Ratchet sighed, "Just kiss me already. I want to feel you as long as I can."

Soft metal lips met his own and Ratchet smiled a little. He pulled up the femme's leg and kissed along her thigh, stopping at her knee. He felt Nightfall's fingers travel along his warmed chest plates and they flew open immediately, bathing the room in light blue brightness. His spark almost begged to be reunited with its pair, and he didn't have to wait long; just as his mate's spark chamber opened, he already felt that familiar force pulling the two sparks together.

Wild surges of electricity washed through his every circuit and Ratchet could have almost laughed with the happiness that flooded his mind as their sparks merged. They embraced tightly, bringing their bodies as close as they could. Ratchet couldn't think of anything, he wanted to savour this bliss, but it ended too quickly.

The medic fell down on the berth, his vents cycling air fast. He knew he shouldn't have felt so exhausted after a spark-merge, but he wasn't surprised either. His spark pounded against his chest, a throbbing headache took over the pleasure and he groaned. Ratchet cursed at his weakness that gripped his arms in small spasms when he pushed himself back up. Nightfall put a servo on his arm and guided Ratchet's own to that area under his armour to feel it.

"Just fasciculation." Ratchet murmured, "Tendons and muscolatory circuits twitching. They've been recently." After a short moment, he added, "The same happens in my legs when I stand up. It's not that bad when I walk, but when I have to stand in one place it's worse."

"It will evolve into clonus." Nightfall whispered and the mech huffed.

"I know." he grumbled, "I'll be jerking as if I'm being electrocuted. I can't wait."

"Then don't let it get that far." his mate whispered into his audio and planted a last kiss on his helm before she was gone. Ratchet grit his dentas and stood up slowly, waiting for his spasming circuits to calm before he made his way to the main room to check on the computer.

Knock Out sat on the medical berth and didn't even look up from the datapad when Ratchet strode into the main room. He had healed a great deal now and could consume energon in a regular way again, though the crack on his abdominal plating was still sore sometimes. Ratchet had given him datapads with medical files so he would not get bored, case histories and diagnostic descriptions, recordings of various kinds of surgeries that Knock Out had never even seen before. The older medic also gave him a datapad of his own disease, detailing the symptoms and analysises of the recordings and the nanites, but Knock Out had not even touched it.

He hardly talked to any of them since he witnessed Ratchet's seizure and almost never left the medbay. He was a prisoner there, though, despite what the Decepticon expected, he wasn't treated like one; no one mocked him, he was mostly ignored. Only Ratchet checked on him regularly as he healed and he, Optimus, or, rarely, Bumblebee brought him energon - they didn't say it out loud, but these two mechs were the only ones still sending him hopeful glances that he might change his mind.

But he wouldn't. He wouldn't do that favour to his enemies.

"Still nothing?" he heard Ratchet ask as he moved to stand next to Optimus by the computer.

"Nothing." the Prime answered quietly, his deep baritone vibrating in calm, tired waves, "No one answered so far."

Both of them remained silent for a long moment before Optimus sighed again, "What could have happened to the others? Our medics... Hoist, First Aid, Red Alert, Fixit... even Perceptor could help perfectly. And yet... no answer."

"Maybe they are on planets that the signal can't reach for some reason." Ratchet replied, "Don't overreact, Optimus. They're fine for sure."

Just then, a signal appeared on one of the screens and the beeping filled the main room. Everyone rushed up to the main computer to see what it was about.

"Energon." Ratchet said quietly.

"Finally!" Bulkhead exclaimed, "It's been a while."

"You're just itching to wreck 'cons again, huh?" Arcee asked him playfully. Bulkhead opened his mouth to reply, but Optimus spoke before him.

"We need to investigate." he said and already saw Ratchet setting the coordinates to ready the GroundBridge. A worried frown appeared on his face, "You look tired, old friend. Someone should stay here while we-"

"Optimus, please," the medic groaned, "I'm not a sparkling!"

The Prime sighed. He cast a worrying glance towards Knock Out, but it seemed the Decepticon wasn't paying attention to them at all.

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine." Ratchet growled and opened the GroundBridge, "Just go already!"

It was apparent their medic was in a bad mood and it was no use getting him more upset. Optimus looked at his comrades and nodded to them. They all transformed and drove through the spinning lights of the Bridge without any more words. They couldn't argue with Ratchet and Optimus wanted to believe that he really did feel alright and up to monitor duty.

Ratchet pulled a chair to the computer and slumped down into it. He couldn't deny that he really _was_ tired that day, more tired than usual, but he wouldn't admit that. He brought a servo up to his face and rubbed his optics before turning back to the screens.

After a while of watching, Knock Out deactivated the datapad and put it away. He couldn't believe these Autobots were so stupid to trust him so much as to leave their vulnerable medic all alone with him, and with the GroundBridge all set and ready for him. This was the chance he'd been waiting for. He was well enough to take down the Autobot medic and make an escape.

The Decepticon smirked and transformed his hand into his buzz saw. It was too easy, he thought as he made his way towards Ratchet as quietly as he could and raised the saw above him.

"Fools." he whispered.

However, before he could deliver the blow, he felt something thin press against his faceplate on the side, just below his helmet. He froze when he heard the familiar buzzing of a weapon getting ready to shoot - and it was aimed right at the thinnest part of his plating.

"Do it, and I'll make sure Megatron recieves your melting processor." said a male voice and Knock Out turned his head slightly. He saw a dark-skinned human standing behind the railing and holding a gun to his head with a confident expression on his face.

By that time, Ratchet had stood up as well and turned to face the red mech. He didn't look surprised in the least, in fact, he expected nothing less from the Decepticon. He kept an eye on him on the screen and heard what Knock Out must have missed; the opening of the elevator and the familiar steps of William Fowler.

"Thank you for your assistance, Agent Fowler." Ratchet said quietly and took great amusement from the Decepticon's furious face. However, Knock Out's shock didn't last long and he chuckled again.

"One sick mech and a human. You think you can defeat me? That ridiculous excuse for a weapon has no effect on me."

"Oh, yes, it has." Fowler said and faced Knock Out, gun raised and ready, just as calmly as the Autobot, "Ratchet modified it himself."

Knock Out growled, "I could take both of you down!" he raised his buzz saw again and this time, he struck.

With speed and strenght betraying his condition, Ratchet turned his hand into a blade and met Decepticon's saw with a loud, metallic clang.

"You could," Ratchet grumbled, "but you won't."

"Ratchet," Optimus' voice sounded from the computer, "There was no Decepticon activity. We are ready to go back to Base."

The medic tore his blade away and moved to the handle and pulled it up to open the GroundBridge. Knock Out gritted his dentas.

"No!" he cried and jumped at Ratchet. This time, he managed to hold the weaker mech in his grip and held his buzz saw at his neck, "Close that Bridge and I'll-"

He cried out in pain as Fowler fired his gun. Knock Out grabbed his upper arm where armour wasn't protecting his dermal plating. It was a sharp, burning sensation and energon flowed from the wound. The Decepticon gasped when he saw it and let go of Ratchet who stumbled to the wall for support. Knock Out turned towards Fowler when a new voice came through the Bridge.

"Hey!" Bulkhead ran forward with the rest of the team and Knock Out barely had time to turn around when a familiar mace struck him in the abdomen, aimed just where his healing wound was, "What have you done to Ratchet?!"

The Decepticon couldn't answer, however; his mouth opened in a silent scream and he fell to his knees with violent, choking coughs that brought up energon from his yet-again damaged tank. Meanwhile, Arcee and Bumblebee immediately went to Ratchet's side who was still leaning against the wall and couldn't will his legs to stop shaking. He accepted Bumblebee's servo to help him stand straight.

"What has he done to you?" Arcee asked him quietly as she supported him on the other side.

"I'm okay." he murmured, "He didn't do anything. Had no time to. Agent Fowler took care of that."

Optimus listened to him with a frown and turned to the human who now put his gun away. He tried to force a grateful smile to his face, but didn't succeed.

"We thank you sincerely for your help, Agent Fowler." he said and turned to the Decepticon medic who was still kneeling on the floor, breathing heavily and bleeding from two wounds now, "However drastic it may be."

"Anytime, Prime." the agent replied and pulled a face when he looked down at Knock Out, "Geez, I didn't know you transformers can throw up."

"Oh, great, Bulkhead!" Ratchet threw his hands up when he caught sight of the 'con, "Now I can fix him up again!"

"Sorry, Ratch, I just..." Bulkhead sighed, "got angry when I saw you."

Optimus put a hand on the wrecker's shoulder and helped Knock Out up from the ground. The Decepticon was shaking with pain and didn't protest when the Prime started to lead him back to the medbay with Ratchet behind them. The others followed them after they brought the energon they dropped in the Bridge back inside the Base and they stood quietly at the entrance of the medbay as Ratchet prepared painkillers and an IV again for the other medic.

"We won't leave you alone again, Ratchet." Optimus said quietly, guilt evident in his tone.

"Well..." Ratchet replied quietly, "I hate to admit it, but that may be a good idea." then, he added with an even quieter voice, "I may not be able to defend myself next time."

"There will be no next time." Optimus turned to Knock Out, "You must understand why we keep you here. If only there were anyone else who could help us, it wouldn't have happened. You have witnessed why we need help, and you are our only hope. We provide you with shelter and energon and you are free inside the Base. No one will hurt you anymore. We only ask you to heal Ratchet for us, and you are free to go."

To their surprise, Knock Out chuckled when he looked up, a thin line of energon still running down his chin, but his expression was smug.

"I'd like to see you beg, Prime."

He and the others watched with shock as Optimus Prime, the mighty leader of the Autobots, got down on one knee before the Decepticon and looked at him with sincerity in his optics.

"Then I'm begging you, Knock Out." he said quietly, "Please, save our friend."

Knock Out frowned in confusion seeing his enemy like this. Of course, he really did see how serious Ratchet's condition was, but he wasn't willing to help - he didn't want to, and wasn't sure he could either. No matter how seeing these transformers' LOVE for their medic made his chest plates tighten and confuse him.

"No." he whispered.

Optimus sighed and stood back up, "You will stay here for the time being. What I said still stands."

He walked out of the medbay and gestured for his comrades to follow. They let the two medics alone, but kept an eye on them from the main room. They packed the energon to the storage room while Ratchet started working on Knock Out's reopened wound - this time, he didn't care if his servos were shaking. None of them said anything for a while, but it was the red mech who broke the silence; Knock Out winced as Ratchet jerked a wire.

"Why are you helping me?" he asked quietly, "After what I've done to you."

Ratchet stopped to look at him and sighed. "Because I'm a medic, Knock Out." he said, pressing the words, "I swore to protect life, not destroy it."

Knock Out frowned and Ratchet shook his helm, "I guess it wasn't taught among the Decepticons. You still have much to learn, kiddo."

"You don't know what I have learnt." the other medic grumbled.

"You think so?" this time, Ratchet actually chuckled, "I know you have started attending the Protihex Medical Mechanics University just the year before Optimus was made Prime. I was working at the hospital in Crystal City at the time, but sometimes I was called to hold lectures at my old university. I saw you there once among the freshmen before the war broke out. I moved to Praxus then, but I know that you recieved education mostly about first aid and battle wounds, just like the other students your age. You were trained to operate on the battle field and not in the surgery room." he sighed, "Those interns were more like soldiers than actual medics."

Knock Out did not say anything, but didn't need to when Ratchet continued, "That's why you are a better fighter than me, but it also means that you don't know that much about actual illnesses. I saw how you watch those datapads that I gave to you. I saw the excitement in your eyes. You must have performed surgeries before, but there is much you still have to learn."

"If you know all that," Knock Out finally spoke, "why are you keeping me here? If you know I wouldn't be able to help with your disease anyway. I've never even heard about such a thing as Starshadow-syndrome."

"I know." Ratchet grumbled, still concentrating on the wound, "But as Optimus said, there's no one else. I have to accept what I have. And that's you."

Silence fell between them again and Knock Out relaxed as the painkiller filled his veins and finally started working. This was the first time he talked to any one of the Autobots for more than a few klicks, but his confusion still hadn't worn off. If it had been Megatron, he would have recieved serious punishment or would have even been terminated - but here it was different. Everything was different, and Knock Out wasn't used to such kindness even after he almost offlined the medic who was now tending to his wounds.

"Why did you join the Decepticons, Knock Out?" Ratchet asked all of a sudden and sat down on a chair next to the berth.

The Aston Martin seemed surprised at first, then he shrugged as best as he could. "I'm better with them. After all, as you said, I'm a sadistic, egoistic fragger, and that stands better with the Decepticon standards."

Ratchet chuckled a little despite himself, "Decepticon standards? Why, you think Autobots are perfect? Take me as an example. I can be horrible to deal with."

Knock Out couldn't help a small smile tug at the corner of his lips. Yes, he saw how grumpy and pedantic the older medic could be, but he didn't say anything.

"It's the gore stuff, huh?" Ratchet asked, "Some medics don't become medics because they want to save every little being, but because of the scientific sizzle. I was one of them, though with time I realized I was happiest when I could help, too. But the thrill of a medical mystery..." he smiled a little as he repeated Nightfall's words, "that's what drives us. I know your kind. Illnesses and gore fascinates you, just like me. But this time... I am the mystery."

He took the datapad with the Starshadow-syndrome in his servo and raised it up for Knock Out. "I have provided you with what you couldn't have learnt at university; illnesses and surgeries. Now I provide you with a mystery... and I ask you to help me solve it."

Knock Out pressed his lips together. He couldn't deny that what Ratchet said was true; his fascination behind the science of medicine, rather than the need to save others drove him mostly when he decided to become a medic. The older mech read him like an open book and he closed his optics. He didn't reach for the datapad and turned his helm away.

He wasn't ready. Not yet.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello! Well, not much happens in it, and I don't know when I'll be able to post a new chapter... but I'm not done torturing our favourite medic yet.

Anyway, 1000 views? Wow, thank you! Leave a review, too, please! Thank you for your support! :)

* * *

VI.

"Look!" Miko pointed down to her chest, "These two are getting bigger!"

Jack buried his face in his palm while Bulkhead scratched the back of his helm in embarrassment.

"And... is that a bad thing?"

Miko threw up her arms with an exaggerated sigh. "Men."

"You know, you're body is getting ready to-"

"I _know_, Ratchet!"

June couldn't hold back a chuckle as she watched Knock Out's expression at the conversation. It had been a while since he was taken to the Base, but it seemed he had yet to get used to some things - for example, Miko's outbursts. He still seemed to be nervous sometimes, the way he glanced behind his shoulders occasionally and went out of the room whenever they talked about Megatron. But now the face he pulled when Miko announced the now-noticable changes of her body was priceless.

"You're starting to show, too." Jack said and put a hand to the Japanese girl's abdomen. It was hard to see yet, but that tiny bump was definitely there.

"Really?" Miko asked and pulled up her shirt to examine her stomach. Bulkhead, Arcee and Bumblebee all gathered at the railing to see it.

"I can't see anything." said Bulkhead.

_Me neither_., Bumblebee beeped with disappointment.

"No, it's there." Arcee said quietly and leant closer to Miko, her optics wide and shining, "Just very small."

"Told you!" Jack exclaimed triumphantly and put his hand back on Miko's abdomen. June watched the mesmerized smile on her son's face and turned around when she heard Optimus' steps behind her. The Autobot leader also watched the scene with a calm expression.

"They're getting really excited." June whispered, Optimus had to lean down a little to hear her.

"That's a good sign, isn't it?" the Prime asked.

"Yes." June smiled, then sighed deeply, "I'm glad they're taking it so well. And I'm also grateful for your support. It's good to see the others this happy about it."

"It does get our minds off of all the bad that happened. You are all now part of this family and it's been a very long time since we last saw a sparkling. This human baby is truly fascinating for us. We almost feel like a little bit that this baby is..."

"Yours, too?" June asked when the mech stopped. Optimus nodded with a small smile.

"Ratchet!" they heard Miko cry out and she ran up to the medic who was checking the readings of the computer, "Can you do an ultrasound? We want to see it!"

June smiled when she heard Ratchet chuckle - it was getting rarer and rarer. "Alright, Miko, but just this once. After all, it _is_ radiation."

"Thanks, Doc Bot!"

"It's a good day, isn't it?" June asked Ratchet as they all walked to the medbay. Even though the large mech's steps were heavy and uneven and his legs were trembling noticably, the Autobot medic wore a smile on his face.

"Yes, yes, it is." he asnwered, "Will you stay for today? I found something I want to show you."

"Sure. We wanted to practice today anyway."

"Yeah, yeah." Ratchet waved his hand and sat down beside the berth. He prepared the ultrasound machine while Bulkhead helped the three humans up the berth. June pulled out a bottle of water from her bag and gave it to Miko.

"Drink this." the nurse said, "We need your bladder full."

Ratchet rolled his servos a few times, curling and uncurling his fingers to get all sensitivity back for the task. Everybody gathered around the berth; they were to see Miko's baby - Primus, a _human_ baby for the first time! Arcee stood next to Ratchet and took his hand gently, massaging it. It was routine for her now and it did wonders to soothe the medic. When Miko was finished drinking the water, Ratchet held Arcee's small servo up to his face and gave it a soft kiss.

"Thank you, ma'am."

Now that everything was ready, Ratchet prepared the probe. Miko lay down and everyone, even Optimus leant closer when a picture appeared on the screen.

"It's hard to make out." Ratchet said and pointed to the screen, "That's the head and the spine. Similar to our backstrut. Those are the arms and legs."

_What's that flutter?,_ Bumblebee asked, pointing to the middle of the screen on the tiny creature's chest.

"That's the heart." Ratchet answered.

"And when can you tell if it's a mech or a femme?"

"Not yet, Bulkhead." the medic shook his head with a smile, "It's too early."

"Doc Knock!"

Knock Out had been watching the events for a while, but now he almost jumped when the young student called to him. He frowned at the nickname Miko used for him and instead of answering, he waited for the smiling girl to tell him why she shouted to him.

"Aren't you coming to see it?"

The Decepticon's optics widened and everyone looked at him expectantly. Was this human really inviting him to see her youngling? Why was she giving him this privilege? Why were they all...

Did they really trust him this much - or were they just trying to make him more comfortable?

"Knock Out," it was Jack this time, his voice nearly not as harsh as Miko's, "we'd like you to see our child."

He sounded so mature when he said that, June thought and pressed her lips together. She sighed - he may have been mature, but was he really ready for such a great responsibility?

The Autobots already moved to make space for Knock Out to see the ultrasound screen; he eventually stood up and walked over to them, crouching down next to the berth. He slowly managed to make out the tiny humanoid form and cocked his head to the side.

"Looks like a developing protoform." he said with surprise. Back at the University, they had hardly learnt anything about protoforms or carrying protocols, since by that time, at the beginning of war, less and less sparklings were born - but they had learnt some of the ontogenesis of protoforms. What shocked him was the similarity between the developement of the two species.

"Yes, we are similar." Ratchet said and turned to the humans, looking at June, "But our carrying protocols are different. A human baby is fully developed physically when it's born. A sparkling is purely a protoform with no armour, just a soft dermal plating and it develops separately from the spark. Once they are both ready, the protoform is delivered first and after that, the young spark becomes disconnected from the carrier's spark and is deposited in the sparkling's spark chamber outside the carrier's body. That's when it's really born. The transforming protocols are added later."

"Can you show us a sparkling?" Miko asked and managed to catch the medic off guard. Ratchet frowned for a minute.

"Well... in fact, I have a datapad... Bumblebee, could you bring it to me? It's inside the nightstand next to my berth."

The scout nodded and went away to Ratchet's personal quarters. The mech put away the probe when he felt he could no longer hold his hands from trembling. The medic switched off the machine and gave the pictures to June.

"Do your host parents know, Miko?"

Optimus' gentle question made all three humans freeze. The smile vanished from Miko's face and she looked down. "I... haven't told them yet."

"You can't hide it forever." Bulkhead crouched down next to the berth by the human girl's side.

"They'll call my parents for sure." Miko pulled her knees up to her chest, "And they won't want to deal with me any longer. And my parents... I don't even dare imagine what they'll do."

"You can come to us." Jack told her confidently.

Both of them looked at June. The woman looked a little pale, but she managed a smile and gave a nod. Miko may really need them in the future when she would no longer be able to hide her pregnancy any longer, and the nurse didn't want any harm to come to either her or the baby. And, after all, June had medical knowledge and she had to admit that she would have been much calmer if she could keep an eye on Miko.

Bumblebee arrived back to the medbay and gave the datapad to Ratchet. The 'bot searched for a while and when he found the picture, he zoomed onto the middle on the sparkling and showed it to the others. The Autobots all had seen sparklings before, but the humans were amazed by it - the little one was completely light-grey with no armour at all; energon veins could be seen on its abdomen, lower arms and legs, the dermal plating seemed to be thicker on its chest. It had a curious look in his big, bright blue optics, its mouth opened in a small 'O' as it was held by thin arms to a chest that was definitely female.

"How cute!" Miko exclaimed, "How old is it?"

"A few decacycles in this picture." Ratchet answered quietly with a small smile, "His carrier had some complications, she was brought to a temporary hospital. It was just before the beginning of war, in Praxus. We didn't have proper equipment... I was called in to help deliver the sparkling, but I must say it was a miracle we succeeded. His creators gave me this picture of the little one in gratitude. He was one of the last generation born on Cybertron."

"And what happened to the sparkling?" Jack asked.

He noticed Bumblebee sitting next to Ratchet and looking at the picture with wide optics for a while, then he grabbed Ratchet's hand and leant his helm to his side. Ratchet put an arm around the younger mech's shoulder before he answered.

"He became the greatest scout I have ever known."

Everyone except for Optimus starred at their medic with shock. Only Optimus knew about Bumblebee's past, his creator's special relationship with Ratchet before they were both killed in the war just as their son entered Academy to train to be a soldier. All the others knew that Ratchet was the field medic who saved Bumblebee's life after his brutal interrogation by Megatron at Tyger Pax, but didn't think Ratchet had known him ever since his birth - now they understood why their relationship was so deep and why the young bot was clinging to the medic now that this sickness threataned his life.

Bumblebee reached out to pull the picture back to its full size, revealing the femme who was holding him and a strong, big mech behind her. They all watched the picture in respectful silence, the sorrow in their youngest comrade's optics were telling enough.

Knock Out watched the datapad for a while, then turned around and headed out of the medbay. He wouldn't let them see the coolant tears in his optics that threatened to fall down his face.

* * *

"Your life story is getting more and more interesting."

June sat on the edge of an Autobot-sized chair in front of Ratchet who was sitting on the berth in his personal quarters. She started raising up her arms extended forward and Ratchet copied the movement.

"You have no idea." he said and winced. When he held his arms this straight, he couldn't keep them from trembling and sharp pain shot through his joints before he could raise them up fully vertically above his helm.

They had been practicing together for a quite some time to keep Ratchet's tendons and muscolatory cables from degrading too fast. At times, it would only end with a temper tantrum on Ratchet's part, frustrated by his slowing and unsteady body, but June learnt how to handle him now and she didn't let him quit it. She wanted him to work and not give up on himself, to which he was very close sometimes and even she had a hard time encouraging him to overcome his depression.

She was just glad he accepted her help in this - she really didn't know any other way to help him right now.

"It won't go further?" June asked gently.

"No." Ratchet grumbled.

"Alright then, let them down. Slowly." June said and let down her arms, still extending them, and Ratchet did the same. The nurse figured out early that it was easier to get Ratchet to practice if she practiced along with him and did the movements with him simultaneously. This way, maybe, he didn't feel like a patient that much, something he always found horrifying.

"Did it hurt?" the woman asked.

"Yes, it did. It hurts every time I try to raise my arms above my head. Too much force."

"I see. Hold them to the side now... okay, roll your hands. Does that hurt?"

"No... but my arms become weak quickly. That's why they're trembling so much. And my wrists hurt if I do this for long."

"Okay, then let your arms rest a little." June said and both of them let their arms fall to their lap. The woman then raised up her right leg, knee bent, and waited for Ratchet to shift so he could do the same. Then June straightened her leg and Ratchet copied it again, only much slower and his leg shook the more the straighter he moved it. June told him to hold it like that for a few klicks, then they did the same with their left legs. Ratchet looked quite tired by the time it was over, even though he was in a relatively good mood in the morning, June didn't want him to overheat like he did last time.

"Just one more thing." she said, "I have noticed you always push yourself up when you sit up from a lying position. Why? Are your abdominal tendons too weak? Or your backstrust?"

"In fact... they _are_ weak." Ratchet mumbled, holding himself with his arms even while he was sitting as if to confirme it, "That's why, combined with my shaking legs, I can't hold myself upright for too long. When I sit down and have something to lean against, that's okay. But it hurts after a while if I don't."

"Like now?"

"Like now." Ratchet answered, earning a sigh from June.

"Alright, I won't torture you any longer today." she said, "But next time, you'll try to sit up for me without using your hands."

"Alright, alright." Ratchet waved his servo and took a deep breath. He attempted to stand up, but his legs were shaking so bad, he fell back on the berth. He gritted his dentas and his cooling fans whirred up angrily.

"Ratch," June called to him calmly, "I can call someone to help you."

"No!" the medic protested, "My legs are a little numb, that's all. And I'm low on energon."

"Okay." the nurse gave in, "I'll go back to the others."

She climbed down from the chair and exited Ratchet's personal quarters. The Autobot sighed and let his body tremble; in fact, he felt terribly weak. He couldn't understand this decrease in his condition compared to how well he felt in the morning. He hoped it was only because of his low energy levels...

He tried to get up from the berth again and he succeeded this time. However, the moment he was upright, horrible dizziness took over his processor along with a throbbing headache. He stumbled to the wall and leant against it heavily, squatting down - though, he couldn't hold himself even in that position for long and sat down - or rather, fell down - on the ground with a loud clang.

Ratchet buried his face in his large palm, his vents wheezed to get air to cool his systems, trying to chase away dizziness and calm his wildly trembling body. He was starting to panic and coolant flooded his optics as he felt his control slip away like the wind.

June heard the clang from Ratchet's quarters and turned around immediately. The worst crossed her mind; that Ratchet collapsed, maybe he was having a seizure. He hadn't had any for weeks since the last time that was self-induced and June's chest tightened as she hurried back to the medic's quarters.

What she saw instead surprised her greatly and sadness joined her fright. Ratchet was sitting next to the door with his back against the wall, one knee bent and he leant on his knee - tiny sobs rocked his body and coolant ran down his face. June had never seen one of them cry before, and she certainly didn't expect it from Ratchet, but she soon saw the reason why; he was sitting in a puddle of transfluid and his whole body was shaking.

"Ratchet..." she whispered and walked up to the medic. She touched her hands to his waist, she felt the heat radiating from his chassis. Ratchet looked down at her.

"I didn't want this." he whispered, his voice wavering, "I got dizzy and sat down... and it happened. I could hardly feel it..."

"It's okay." June tried to calm him down. She knew he would not be able to get up on his own, not from the ground. She stroked his fingers and asked, "Who shall I call?"

"Optimus." Ratchet answered, "And please... don't tell anyone."

June nodded and hurried into the main room. The Autobots and humans were chatting and the woman went over to Optimus, telling him quietly that Ratchet needed him.

The next time his door opened, Ratchet looked up to see Optimus. His features contorted into a tearful grimace and the medic buried his helm in his leader's neck cables when the Prime embraced him. He let his tears fall, something he didn't need to hide from his long-time friend. Optimus had always been there when he needed him.

The large mech stroked the medic's back in circles until he calmed down. Ratchet was the first to speak, his voice still breaking sometimes, "It was to be expected... but I'm so sorry..."

"Calm down, Ratchet." Optimus told him gently, "We'll go to the wash racks now. It was an accident."

"No, it wasn't." the medic shook his helm, "I'll lose control over my body as the syndrome progresses. It will happen again... I need a catheter... I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Let's go to the wash racks now." Optimus insisted, "We'll talk about it there. Can you walk?"

"I think so."

* * *

He didn't want to others to see him with the catheter just yet and Ratchet lay down on his berth once Optimus helped him back to his quarters. The mighty Prime handled him like a fragile child, for which Ratchet was now grateful - he felt terribly weak and he was shivering in cold, he even asked Optimus to fetch him a blanket. The beautiful day turned into something Ratchet had always been afraid of; he was losing control and slowly he would reach a point where he could no longer take care of himself.

That terrified him more than anything.

Optimus was kind enough to clean up after him and stayed with him for a little longer. He knew Ratchet felt he was a burden and the Prime had a hard time reassuring him that it was far from the truth, that all of them wanted to help him in any way they could and he didn't need to be ashamed in front of them.

"Not even with a tube hanging between my legs?" Ratchet asked back, a sarcastic half-smile on his lips.

Optimus sighed. "You can't hide in your quarters forever." he told his friend, "You can be with us despite this. No one will mind, you know it as well."

"I know..." it was Ratchet's turn to sigh now. He shifted under the blanket, the sensation uncomfortable, and he was still shivering. "It's just... it's disturbing, even for me. I don't want them to be scared or..."

"Ratchet, you must trust us. If what you said about it just getting worse is true... you will need our help. But we cannot help if you don't let us."

"You are just like Miko now, Ratchet." June told him sternly and Ratchet couldn't say anything to that. Seeing the medic's apparent discomfort with the subject, the nurse decided to change it, "Anyway, you said you wanted to show me something. What was it?"

"Yes... that." Ratchet shifted again and reached over to a shelf. He held up the small, black object for June to see and then activated it; out came a very realistic, almost solid hologram of a processor, and the human woman starred at it in awe.

"It's a holocron." Optimus said in surprise and Ratchet nodded.

"A medical holocron. It's used in universities to teach interns how to perform surgeries without having to cut up anyone. I used it to teach, too. It's merely for practice, and it can be upgraded with symptoms of various illnesses. I have already downloaded mines into it because I thought... I'd need to come up with an operation plan. It tells me if I succeeded or not."

"It's wonderful." June said and added with a smile, "If only we had something like this in our schools..."

At that moment, there was a soft knock on the door and Optimus rose up to open it. Ratchet put the holocron away and listened with dim optics when the Prime returned.

"Bumblebee is here." he said, "He'd like to see you."

Ratchet took a deep breath. "Alright. Let him in."

Optimus let June climb in his hand and walked out of the room with her, letting Bumblebee take his place. The young scout walked up slowly to the medic's berth and stopped there, his optics wide and full of emotions. He noticed the catheter bag next to the berth, but didn't say anything, just let his doorwings drop in sadness.

"I am sorry you have to see me like this, Bee." Ratchet spoke first, breaking the silence.

However, Bumblebee shook his head and raised up a hand to touch it to the side of his face. A transformation began and the yellow plating and vocoder that covered the lower part of his face slid back. There was a long, ugly crack on his chin and the sides of his mouth were scarred, behind his quivering lips it could be seen that some part of his dentas were missing. The damage Ratchet couldn't fix back then, and it was rare when Bumblebee allowed someone to see him like that.

The young scout took Ratchet's servo into his own and raised it to his face, brushing his lips to the old hand. That was when he opened his mouth and whispered soundlessly that even the most sensitive of audios would have had a hard time picking up,

"I'm scared."

Ratchet sighed and pulled the smaller bot down, allowing him to lie next to him. "Me, too, Bee."

They did not say anything else and soon both of them fell into recharge like that. Just being near was all that was needed, and Ratchet was grateful to have them all by his side.


	7. Chapter 7

Prepare for a long, boring chapter! I'd like to thank everybody who has reviewed and supported this story, I didn't think you would like it so much. Thank you!

* * *

VII.

Knock Out didn't expect to find anybody at the energon storage at that time of the day; the Autobots usually refueled together once or twice a day and the Decepticon did a good job avoiding them so far, but today would be different.

He was given a small room when he was well enough to leave the medbay and ever since then, he had left the room just occasionally, mostly for energon or to go to the the wash racks, he only sat in the medbay rarely to read datapads that Ratchet did not allow him to take to his room. He just watched his captors at those times, how Ratchet dealt with his condition and Knock Out became more and more uncertain, especially when he saw the older medic limp into the main room pushing a wheeled pole next to himself with a catheter bag on its lower shelf. He felt guilt then that shook his stable decision that he wouldn't help heal him.

Knock Out didn't know what to do, that was why he tried to avoid the Autobots so he wouldn't have to talk to any of them, but it seemed his luck had run out - the Autobots' scout, Bumblebee stood there with a half-empty energon cube in his servo, facing away from the entrance. Knock Out stopped, but when he saw the yellow bot tense, he knew he head heard him.

The Decepticon medic turned around and decided to come back later, but stopped again when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. Knock Out turned back with a sigh, knowing now that there was no way he could escape a conversation with the Urbana, however, his optics widened when he caught sight of the younger transformers' face - not as if he hadn't seen worse, but it was still bad enough.

Of course, even among the Decepticons, the brave young Autobot scout who stood up against Megatron at Tyger Pax alone became almost like a legend. It was told that Megatron - among inflicting other serious injuries - ripped out his voice box to silence him for mocking him. When Knock Out saw Bumblebee for the first time, he had suspected that _he_ was the legendary scout, but now he was sure; all the cracks and scars that covered the lower part of his face that was normally hidden reassured Knock Out that his suspicions were true.

Bumblebee offered him a cube of energon with a small smile and the Decepticon saw no reason not to accept it. The young bot had always been kind to him, much like Optimus, as if they both were silently pleading him to help. They drank their energon quietly for a while until Knock Out felt uncomfortable enough to finally say something.

"I also lost my creators at the beginning of the war." he said, "My carrier first, then my sire. Carrier wanted me to be a medic... it was because of her that I finished my studies, as well as my fascination for it all. Yes, Ratchet was right... gore stuff has started to amaze me after a while."

Bumblebee listened patiently, he didn't even dare move when Knock Out looked up at him with something of a newfound confidence.

"See? You Autobots were not the only ones who lost loved ones during the war." he started, "We also suffered losses. Creators, offsprings, homes... mates."

"I never doubted that."

Knock Out could hardly make out the faintly whispered words of the scout. So, it seemed Ratchet _did_ manage to repair it to some degree, though the medic now understood why he needed that vocoder. And he guessed there was another reason to it, too; Knock Out thought maybe he should have thought about it as an honor that Bumblebee let him see him like this.

Or maybe it was just a silent manipulation to make him trust them even more - either way, Knock Out let it work on him this time.

"You know, in fact, you remind me of Soundwave in this matter." the Aston Martin continued where he left off, "His face was also irreparably damaged when one of your bombs exploded next to him. That's why he wears that visor. I used to work on him back then, too, and I'm the only one he trusts to repair his visor when needed and... to see his face." Knock Out shuddered and his fingers curled into a fist, "But he didn't change in the inside at all. He's still that manipulative slagger he always used to be. He sneaks up on everyone and spies even on us. And then, if we do something he doesn't like, he runs to Megatron immediately like a mindless, trained pet."

He stopped for a moment, his optics blazing angrily and Bumblebee waited for him to go on. "No one is safe from him. He's only loyal to our dearest Megatron... Sometimes it's like he's in love with him! That fragger would do anything for Megatron, be it relic hunt or giving his own comrades up. All that matters to him is the Decepticon cause... It's like he had turned into an emotionless drone over the cycles. He has always been like Megatron, intelligent and collected, but he became cold. Calculating. You can't keep secrets from him, he tells Megatron even the smallest things like when I managed to sneak out to race. That slaghead would give up even me, who helped save his life!"

It surprised him how angry he had become as Knock Out tried to catch his breath, his vents working at high speed to cool his systems that were starting to overheat. All the tension burst out of him that had been gathering in him for the past weeks. He didn't look up at Bumblebee, but heard the quiet sound of transformation and the next moment, instead of his own whispering, the usual beeps met his audios.

_So that's why you're always nervous?,_ he asked, _Because of Soundwave? I heard some things about him... They say he's the 'eyes and ears of the Decepticons'._

Knock Out huffed. Yes, he himself had called Soundwave that, too, and it was rather fitting for the mech. But Bumblebee's question caught him off guard. Was his nervousness really that noticable? He was used to that, back on the Nemesis he always had to be careful about what he said or did, especially in Soundwave's presence, but he had just realized how paranoid he had become. Was it really... because of this?

"I guess... Old habits die hard." Knock Out chuckled a little and he saw Bumblebee smile as well even without seeing his mouth - it was amazing how expressive the young scout's optics could be.

_There is no Soundwave here.,_ he reassured him calmly, _And he cannot find you here. You can calm down._

He started to leave the storage, but Bumblebee turned back around, _And you should be with us more_._ I mean... it must be boring in your quarters all cycle._

With that, he walked out of the storage into the main room, leaving Knock Out alone with his thoughts. Ones that he never thought he'd consider ever since he was captured by the Autobots.

* * *

Ratchet took a deep breath as he sat alone in his own quarters. The holocron was activated before him, it displayed the solid image of a transformer very much like himself in a sitting position facing away from Ratchet, the helmet already absent from its head. Ratchet had gathered all the tools that he could use for the surgery and sterilized them. He knew he had to work quickly, as long as he still had sensitivity in his servos - as long as he could still grab things.

He picked up a laser scalpel and positioned it above the protoform on top of the head. He made a cut down the dorsal plating and pulled the softer dermal metal apart, securing them with two clamps on each side. A small stream of energon flowed from the cut, but nothing to worry about - Ratchet cleaned it up before continuing, there was one more thin protecting layer that he needed to remove with an emergency override before he could reach inside.

Ratchet looked at the exposed processor, studying it. Part of the motor cortex could be seen from that angle and the medic felt as if his energon pump had missed a beat. Of course, he had seen Starshadow's processor, they had studied it for a brief time after her death and that had been much worse - yet, seeing it on his own was dreadful.

There was an area that was a much darker shade of gray than normal, completely black in some places. This inactive area was still far smaller than on Starshadow's processor, but it was frightening enough, even for someone who had seen many kinds of injuries, illnesses and deformations in his lifetime. Ratchet had to stop for a moment - he gritted his dentas and shut his optics tight to prevent coolant from flooding them. A wild shiver ran through his body, but Ratchet fought it. He couldn't let himself be distracted by the condition of his motor cortex, he still needed to see the auto-repair center and that was deeper inside the complex neural network.

Ratchet put away the laser scalpel and picked up a thin, needle-like clamp that was connected to a datapad and carefully attached it to a central ganglion - such protoformal ganglia helped in the connection and organization of neural pathways, sometimes even in synthetizing the circuits. The mech heaved a sigh of relief when he managed to perform the delicate task and turned to the datapad, typing in a medical protocol that temporarily overrid the ganglion's programming to move the attached neurocircuits out of the way. He couldn't afford to cut them.

According to the holocron, everything went well so far, the patient's vitals stayed normal. Ratchet finally saw the area of the processor that was the auto-repair center with smaller nanite-synthetizing glands above and next to it. Nothing could be seen, it looked perfectly healthy from the outside. Ratchet took a deep breath, focusing and zooming his optics and grabbed an even thinner needle to oped up the center. It was a small and complex area and such delicate work was usually done by minibot medics who were small enough to reach in and operate on these parts; the 'bot truly wished June were there now, but he told himself to concentrate.

At that moment, Ratchet's servo twitched and the holocron started beeping loudly. He immediately saw what the problem was - he accidentally cut an energon line and the bright blue liquid started flooding the processor in mere moments.

"Frag!" Ratchet cursed and tried to stop the bleeding, but the patient was going into shock. He wanted to shout to someone to give the patient an energon drip or an injection that would slow down the pump enough to prevent severe energon loss, but he was alone; gritting his dentas, he tried to fuse the severed vein back together, however, the more he forced his hands to stay still the more they shook. Energon coated the sensitive circuits and the patient's systems entered stasis lock - the holocron stated that the damage the hemorrhage caused to the neurocircuits was irreversible and the patient would remain in vegetative state if the circuits aren't replaced. With that, the hologram disappeared.

The surgery was unsuccessful. All because of his twitching cables.

Ratchet threw the tools across the room, they collided with the wall with angry clangs and the medic could hardly resist the urge to do the same with the holocron. He wanted to cry out in sheer fury, but instead just groaned as pain waved through his overheating systems. He was almost there... Ratchet buried his helm in his servos in defeat, panting heavily and he hardly felt the smaller servo rest upon his shoulder.

"Calm down." his bondmate's voice whispered, "It just gets worse if you are angry."

"As if I didn't know that." Ratchet growled and looked up to see Nightfall shake her head.

"What made you think you'd be able to do it alone?" she asked and Ratchet glared at her angrily.

"If only..." he began, but pressed his lips together. He grabbed the femme's servo and pulled her to his chest. He kissed her forcefully, as if he was trying to make her feel the pain he was in - but his movements softened soon and he folded his arms around Nightfall's slender frame, offlining his tired optics as he buried his face in his mate's neck cables, "You're driving me crazy. You haven't been here for more than a decacycle." he finally raised his helm to look at the other bot's optics, his own still bright with subsiding anger, "I _need_ you here! You are the embodiment of my subconscious, so why can you decide when you come and go and why don't you come when I want it?"

"You are not alone, Ratchet." Nightfall said sternly, "Yet, you push them away like you _want_ to be miserable."

Ratchet's optics widened, "What? You think I wanted this humiliation?!" he pointed down at himself, "I'm a cripple who wets himself like a sparkling! Or is it me being too selfish again?"

"You _are_ selfish!" Nightfall lowered her voice, her servo grasping the other medic's shoulder harder, "You act like you don't need anyone's help. You could have started the operation plan much sooner when you had the full diagnosis, but you didn't because deep inside, you _want_ them to take care of you, you just won't admit it for the sake of your fragging pride."

Ratchet growled, "Maybe because I have taken care of so many in the past, and now I want to be taken care of. Maybe I didn't start the plan sooner because I want you here with me, because you were the only one who truly took care of me back then. Who could put me in my place."

Nightfall's hard gaze softened and she brought a hand up to Ratchet's face to caress it with the tip of her fingers, "And why couldn't you tell me this when I was alive?"

Ratchet snorted, "Because you knew it. You knew me more than my own carrier. You think I would've trusted you with the other half of my spark... with my _life_ if I hadn't loved you? I didn't need to say it out loud."

His bondmate didn't say anything and Ratchet felt his spark relax in the proximity of its pair when Nightfall sat down on his thigh, pressing herself softly to his chassis in his lap and she rested her helm on the mech's shoulder. Ratchet held her close, willing his clumsy servo to stop shaking as he stroked her backstrut. They sat in silence for a while, but it was Ratchet who broke it.

"Still, you're not right. I do hate them fussing around me. When Optimus had to clean up after me..." he pressed his lips together and shook his helm.

"Remember after the bombing of Uraya?" he heard Nightfall ask, "You were so overcharged that Optimus and I had to drag you to our room. We took shifts holding your head all night while you purged your innards out."

"After working three solar cycles non-stop trying to stabilize the wounded and bury those we couldn't save." her bondmate grumbled, shivering slightly at the memory.

Nightfall sighed. "I know, Ratch. I was there, too. What I wanted to say is, Optimus had seen worse from you and he's willing to do everything to make you better. You can trust him. You became an Autobot while I stayed neutral. I wanted to be a simple medic and nothing more, but you wanted to help with the fight."

Ratchet lowered his gaze to the floor, his voice suddenly quiet and much softer, "Because I wanted to do this much for Optimus."

"That's it!" Nightfall looked up at him, her optics shining with emotion, "You have saved all their lives at least once. Just remember when you brought Bumblebee back from the verge of death. They want to repay you, you know it. And you want them to take care of you so why not let them?"

"It's not that easy when you have mood swings worse than a sparked femme."

"Why won't you admit that the reason is your thick helm? Sick or not, Ratchet you never change."

A small smile made its onto the medic's lips, "That's how you love me."

Nightfall shrugged, "My bad."

The sound of GroundBridge opening and talking met Ratchet's audios and he snapped his helm towards the door; at the same time of the sudden movement, his sparkmate's warmth was gone from his lap. Ratchet curled his fingers into a fist as anger welled up in him again and he grunted in pain when he pushed himself up. No matter how slowly he tried to adjust his weight on his pedes - even with his backpack and upper armours taken away - the hydraulics always protested wildly, muscolatory cables were weak and convulsing, Ratchet could almost see the spasms they shook with through the dermal protoform on his leg.

He winced with the first step, a painful wave washed through his backstrut from his lower body and his energon pump was still working at high speed. The dizzy spells he had every time he got up told the medic that he would slowly lose control of other regulatory functions, too; not just his energon pump, but his thermostat as well, seeing how cold he was every time his systems settled down to go into recharge. That had never happened before, but those at least went back to normal after a while - not like his motor functions.

He dragged himself into the main room, frowning when he heard a new, unfamiliar voice among all the talking and his optics widened when he arrived and saw an Autobot he had never seen before.

He was light blue and gray-white, about the same age as Bumblebee with the number 38 on his doorwings. However, Ratchet couldn't find the same maturity and calmness he saw in Bumblebee; this mech looked inexperienced and naive, more like a teenager despite being old enough to have lived through the war - Ratchet knew it when he noticed their insignia on his arm.

Now the Autobot, after the introductions, was leaning towards the railing where he was greeted by Raf, Jack and a very excited Miko.

"Are you sparked?" he asked the girl, gesturing towards her still-small belly. Outside the Base, Miko wore loose clothes to hide it, but with the Autobots she didn't have to keep it a secret and the bulge in her abdomen was now big enough to be seen.

Miko wasn't surprised now at the word the new Autobot used for her and she nodded, "Yes, I'm pregnant. But tell us about yourself! How did you get here? Did you fight the 'Cons? Were you-"

"Who is he?" Ratchet's harsh question cut through the main room and every helm snapped at his direction. Ratchet stood at the entrance with legs trembling violently, he leant on the wall heavily and hunched over slightly, however, he could care less at the moment; he was glaring draggers at both the young 'bot and Optimus.

"Ratchet," the Prime took a step forward and raised up a servo to calm down the medic, "this is Smokescreen. He crashlanded here on Earth and the Decepticons started attacking-"

"Wait, wait!" Ratchet's cooling fans kicked on, "You were out on a mission? And why has no one cared to tell me?! I should have prepared the medbay and monitored your signals!"

"I can reassure you, old friend, that no one was injured." Optimus said quietly and the others nodded.

"Oh, Optimus, don't give me this slag!" Ratchet cried, "Anything could have happened! Don't _ever_ leave me out of these things, no matter what! And another kid was _just_ what we need right now!"

He saw the new Autobot, Smokescreen starr at him with wide optics as he turned around and made his way to the wash racks. He failed to notice that the look in Smokescreen's optics was not one of disgust or revulsion, but something like an understanding recongition.

"You lied to him."

Knock Out walked up to Optimus and pointed to his shoulder, trying to hide his annoyance at the shocked glances he recieved, "Some of the joint cables are severed."

The Prime looked down at his shoulder; it hurt, but it could hardly be seen under the armour and he thought it was nothing his repair nanites couldn't handle , he didn't want to bother Ratchet with something minor like this.

"And you, too." Knock Out continued and pointed to Arcee, "You are limping. Your left hip joint is dislocated, it needs medical attention. Can you imagine how mad he would be if he found this out?"

"Hey!" Smokescreen exclaimed and took a step back, pointing a finger at Knock Out, "He's a 'con!"

Said Decepticon rolled his optics, "No shit, smarty."

"Cool it, kid." Bulkhead patted Smokescreen on the back, "He's with us for now."

"Someone should go after Ratchet." Arcee said, "Who knows what state he's working himself into."

_I'll go.,_ Bumblebee volunteered and went after their fuming medic.

"Come," Knock Out said with a tone much quieter and gentler than before, "I should fix you before Ratchet finds out."

This was the first time he offered anything and Optimus sent him a small smile. "Thank you, Knock Out. Arcee first, please."

The red medic nodded and followed them as Bulkhead helped the femme into the medbay. The others, even the three humans went with them, curiosity in their eyes and optics as Knock Out helped Arcee lie on the berth and started working on her. He hadn't fixed anyone for many weeks and it felt good to be working again.

Smokescreen kept glancing towards the entrance where Ratchet had gone and he couldn't keep himself from asking, "Is he really Ratchet, the Autobots' miracle medic?"

"Why, of course!" Miko exclaimed, "And he's the best super medic in the world!"

"I know... I have met him before..." the young recruit's voice was strangely quiet as he turned back to the others, "What is wrong with him?

Optimus sighed, "It's a neurodegenerative disease called Starshadow-syndrome. He's been sick for a while and we don't know if there is any way to cure it."

"There will be." they heard Knock Out say and he looked up from his work, "Ratchet _is_ a genius, I'm sure we'll come up with something."

Everyone starred at him in shock, trying to process what he had just said. It was Jack this time who found his voice first, "Are you... are you saying that... you will...?"

Knock Out sighed. "Yes. I will help him." he raised up a servo to stop the joyful exclamations, "But it's not that simple. A processor surgery is a very complicated thing and seeing Ratchet's condition... I have never performed such a thing. I will need to learn first and he'll have to teach me. But I'm... ready to do it."

There was silence for a while, no one knew what to say. Arcee slowly sat up on the berth, her pain lessened a great deal and put her small hand on the Decepticon's arm, "Thank you... very much."

A large servo collided with Knock Out's shoulder and was followed by happy laughter from the former wrecker. "We knew you would do it!"

"Way to go, Doc Knock!"

"So, Ratchet will be alright?"

Raf's silent question made Knock Out's optics soften. This question, relatives and friends wanting reassurance had been asked from him many times during the war and he had learnt what to say when he himself wasn't sure with the answer, "I will do my best."

He looked at Optimus. The leader's optics were shining brighter than he had ever seen, his smile soft as he gave the younger medic a grateful nod. He hadn't realized how much they needed this relief.

* * *

When Ratchet entered the wash racks, he immediately made his way to the chair next to the shower that had been placed there especially for him and collapsed on it. He hunched over and gritted his dentas, readying himself for the pain as he grabbed the tube of the catheter, harshly pulled it out and threw it on the floor. He didn't care about the bag's contents flowing out before him and slumped into the chair with a groan, waiting for the painful throb and nauseous wave it left in its wake to subside.

He breathed heavily and shut his optics, letting his body shake. He needed to calm down, but he didn't see any chance for that. The medic's tanks lurched and he leant to the side in the chair as he started coughing, but nothing came. His energon pump was growing crazy again, but his systems soon started to calm, just as he heard a knock on the wash rack's door.

_Ratchet? It's me, Bumblebee._

Ratchet sighed deeply. "Come in." he called, not caring about how he looked like at the moment. He heard Bumblebee's pedes rise and fall and the scout was soon by his side, his servo resting on his back.

_Why did you do it?,_ the young mech asked, clearly referring to the mess the medic made on the floor.

Ratchet straightened up and looked down at Bumblebee who was crouching next to his chair. "It hurt." he mumbled, "I must have done something wrong when I inserted it."

It was now Bumblebee's turn to sigh and he put his servo on Ratchet's much larger hand. _Ratch, I'm sorry I didn't tell you they went out_. _I stayed in the Base with you, but yu were in your quarters and I didn't want to disturb you_.

The older mech turned his servo so his palm would be facing upward, taking Bumblebee's hand in his still trembling one and giving it a light squeeze. "I guess I would have been angry even if you told me. I was working on the holocron... but I couldn't do it."

Bumblebee didn't say anything, just leant his helm to Ratchet's side and he soon felt the medic stroke the back of his helm. "I know you're scared and I'm sorry for scaring you. It's just... I'm losing control, I'm becoming weaker and I hate it. And I don't want to be deemed unable to help."

They sat in silence for a while, up until there was another knock on the door and this time, Arcee asked for entrance. The femme winced at the sight that greeted her for a moment, but the smile soon returned to her face and she hurried up to Ratchet, throwing her arms around the large mech. "You won't believe it," she said quietly, "Knock Out agreed to heal you."

Ratchet eyes widened, "W-what?"

"You heard me." Arcee broke the embrace to look at the medic, "He'll help you. He will do it."

Bumblebee let out a series of gleeful beeps and clicks, he almost jumped up in joy and Ratchet couldn't help smile. He knew, of course, that it was still far from solving all the problems, but it was a great leap forward; Ratchet would have never thought he would ever agree to help them, and seeing that still no one had answered Optimus' message, he saw no other way to find a cure. His shoulders slumped in relief and he heaved a deep sigh. Finally some good news.

"Come now," Arcee told him gently, "Let us help wash you down."

Ratchet's fingers tensed around the armrest, but to both Arcee and Bumblebee's surprise, he slowly nodded. After all was clean and ready, they went back to the main room, Ratchet let Bumblebee hold his arm to help him as they slowly made their way to the couch. Things seemed to calm down and Optimus brought his friend a cube of medical grade energon. Ratchet noticed Smokescreen standing behind the Prime, waiting for his turn to talk to him. He looked strangely calm and wore a smile on his face as he walked up to Ratchet.

"Hello, Ratchet." he began, "It's good to see you again."

"Again?" Ratchet raised an eyebrow and Smokescreen sat down next to him.

"You treated my sire back in Rodion. He also had something similar to what you have now... a neurological disease and everyone gave up on him, especially when the first rebellions broke out. I was just a youngling back then, but I remember that you were the only one who volunteered to help us and you healed him."

Ratchet frowned, "Yes... I remember a case... Blackride, was it?"

"Yes, he was my sire." Smokescreen smiled, "You saved his life, Ratchet, and I... thank you for that. I couldn't do it back then. I was young, and the moment my sire was well enough, I joined the academy to train to be a soldier. Though not much came out of it... I just wanted to tell you that I have lived through something like this once, I helped my carrier take care of my sire and I'll help you with everything I can. You can count on me."

Ratchet didn't say anything as he listened to the 'bot's confident speech, just kept looking at his young face that now became strikingly familiar; he remembered the youngling now who was always asking him how his sire was doing whenever they came for treatment. The medic then looked up and his gaze met Knock Out's who was just walking out of the medbay. Ratchet smiled a little and gave him a small nod, and the Aston Martin nodded in return.

Maybe this all wouldn't be so bad after all.


	8. Chapter 8

New chapter! :) I'm not really into engineering, so sorry for the inaccuracies. I... can't say anything much. Get ready for a boring chapter. :)

Have a nice day!

* * *

VIII.

Miko stood in front of the mirror, holding her shirt above her belly. It was still early in the morning, the first rays of sunlight were just intensifying to a stronger golden shade, illuminating her. She was sure her host parents hadn't awoken yet. She wouldn't have had to wake up either, since it was Saturday, but she couldn't sleep - she was already uncomfortable and there were still a few months to go.

The Japanese girl sighed and put a hand on her round belly. It was not very big and she didn't know what to feel. For one part, she was glad she could still hide it, but she was also starting to get worried that the baby may not grow normally; she was anxious even after both Ratchet and June reassured her that with her thin build, this growth rate was within optimal and the baby was healthy. She would never get as big as an adult woman, though Miko couldn't decide whether it was good news or not.

Just yesterday afternoon Ratchet told her and Jack the gender of their baby. He wanted to be the one to do it and he exercised a lot with June to make his servo steady for the time while he made the ultrasound - everybody was there when Ratchet announced it and it felt wonderful to have all her friends with her, seeing them being happy for her. Jack was smiling and Miko remembered being happy, too. By that time, she came to accept the fact that she was having a baby and felt herself growing attached to and excited about her child, however, she was also becoming more and more nervous. She couldn't imagine how her host parents - let alone her real parents - would react. She didn't know how she would cope with the pain of the birth or after that.

She had a little sister back in Japan whom she had taken care of before coming to Nevada, so she wasn't unfamiliar with babies, and June, being a nurse and a mother herself, was ready to help her with everything she asked for. Jack was there, too, he was among the few people Miko trusted and she could count on the Autobots whenever she needed.

So why was she feeling so scared now?

Miko took a shaky breath. June told her all these events - her pregnancy and Ratchet's worsening illness - had matured her a great deal to the point where she herself could feel the change, too. She could still be that brash, loud teenager she had always been, but she grew more serious. She didn't know if this change should have frightened her, but somehow she felt that she was still too immature for this all.

As much as she wanted to meet her little boy, she didn't think she was ready to do so.

"Miko? Are you up?"

The voice of Faye Stephens made her jump and Miko pulled her shirt down immediately. Miko pulled her shirt down and stumbled to the door to open it. She always made sure she locked her door when she was home so her host parents wouldn't see her accidentally - now she fumbled with the keys with clumsy hands, but finally succeeded to open the door and even put a smile on her face.

"Yeah, I'm up. Why?"

Mrs. Stephens looked surprised for a moment; she always had a hard time getting the girl out of the bed, but now Miko looked alert and... a little nervous?

"Well..." Mrs. Stephens began, "My sister will come to visit today," she ignored Miko's groan, "and I want you to go to the shop..."

Miko backed away instinctively when her host mother's gaze fell on her middle. Fear crossed her features when she saw the woman's eyes widen and Mrs. Stephens grabbed her arm before she could shut the door. Miko fought the urge to slap the adult's hand away from her belly. She could not deny it anymore, and she shut her eyes when Mrs. Stephens gasped.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed, "Oh, Miko, it's so like you to get yourself knocked up! It was just a matter of time! What were you thinking?! How old is it?"

Miko folded her arms over her chest, fighting the urge to wrap them around her belly protectively. Her heart was pounding wildly against her ribs, threatening to break them and Miko found it hard to speak with the growing lump in her throat, "Twenty-two weeks."

Mrs. Stephens glared at her, "How could you... who is the father?"

"Jack." the girl murmured.

"Jack Darby? Whose mother is a nurse? And not even _she_ found it important to tell us?!"

"Faye, please... I can expla-"

"No, don't! I want to hear it from Nurse Darby herself. Get dressed! I hope she's at home now."

With that, Faye Stephens stormed out of the room, leaving the trembling girl frozen in place, fear gripping her heart that she had never felt before.

"Yes, Mrs. Stephens, the moment they told me, I took Miko to our hospital to be registered and I managed to get her the best doctor."

June was telling the truth; she did ask a doctor at the hospital to take Miko and make the necessary examinations, in case Ratchet would no longer be able to do it anymore. Despite this, it was still Ratchet who oversaw Miko's developement with June's help, this human doctor was more of a consultant to do the official paperwork.

Miko made a quick call to June to let the woman and Jack know they were coming - to be ready for her host mother demanding to know everything about the Japanese girl's pregnancy. Now Miko was sitting at the kitchen table with Jack next to her, they were talking quietly while the two adults stood in front of each other, June trying to made her expression as emotionless as possible.

"And what are your plans after it's born?" Mrs. Stephens asked, her body language betraying her nervousness.

"We'll keep him, of course." June replied, "He's my grandson after all."

"So it's a boy." the other woman murmured, "As Miko's host mother, I need to make sure the baby will have a good place... and that Miko gets everything she needs. I want to speak with her doctor."

Both Miko and Jack tensed, but June remained calm. She simply nodded and picked up her cell phone to make a call.

"What is it, June?" the grumpy voice on the other end of the line grumbled, "I'm not my best right now, so could you-"

"Ratchet," the nurse interrupted him, "Miko's host mother, Mrs. Stephens would like to talk to you about the baby."

There was silence for a while until a mighty sigh broke it and Ratchet's voice sounded much more collected, "Alright, give her the phone."

Mrs. Stephens took the phone with a frown. "Good morning, doctor. My name is Faye Stephens and I would like to ask you about Miko and her baby's condition."

"Miko's developement is regularly monitored." the medic answered in his official, calm voice that June used as well, "Both of them are healthy, all factors are optimal."

"Miko told me the baby is twenty-two weeks old, but she seems too small for that. Did she lie, or is there a problem I should know about?"

"No, Mrs. Stephens, Miko didn't lie to you and there are no problems. Yes, she may be small for this gestational age, but I can reassure you that her baby is perfectly alright. You can blame it on genes, Miko has always been thin and she's young. This growth rate is normal for someone like her."

"Will it cause complications later?"

"So far, it seems she will be able to give birth to the baby on her own. As I told you, we are monitoring her closely and we are ready to make preparations if something unexpected happens."

Miko starred at the phone in her host mother's hand and then at June, wondering how she and Ratchet were able to keep their cool in this situation. June caught her gaze and sent her a little smile that Miko couldn't return yet. Jack put a hand on her shoulder, almost making her jump.

"It's okay." he said, "it's not as bad as we thought."

"You don't know her." Miko whispered, "She will say that when she took me in, she didn't ask for a baby as well. She will call my parents to tell them to take me home..."

"Look, Miko, we already talked about it. Me and mom are making plans to make room for him. And we won't throw you out either."

"I know that, Jack. And we're not even a couple... it's really cool to have you. You really are a great friend."

Jack smiled a little. He shared Miko's view; they were not in love with each other, had never been, but he considered Miko one of his best friends along with Raf and Arcee and their son now created an unbreakable bond between them. Jack wanted to be a good father, better than his own was. This was going to be the greatest challenge of both their lives, and he wanted to do his best.

Even June thought it was a miracle Ratchet could remain so calm throughout their conversation; had anyone else questioned him like Mrs. Stephens did, June was sure he would have ended up yelling for anyone doubting his abilities, but he persuaded the woman to trust him with everything. However, Mrs. Stephens did not look convinced.

"I will talk to Tim about this." she told Miko, "We'll decide what to do."

"Faye, please," Miko stood up, "just don't tell my parents!"

"Why not?" the woman frowned angrily, "They need to know."

"They wouldn't understand. Please... let me handle this."

The woman did not say anything, but Miko had a bad feeling that even if she made a promise, she would not keep it for long.

* * *

_And this is where we store the relics._

Optimus had told Bumblebee to show both Smokescreen and Knock Out around the Base - even though the Decepticon had been there for months, he did not go anywhere except for the energon storage and his own quarters. Now the Autobots thought they could trust him enough to show him the place they lived in.

"Yeah," Smokescreen nodded, stopping at one of the doors, "that's the phase shifter. I remember these."

_These are what Optimus has been able to decode so far._

"Alpha Trion told me a lot about Optimus." the young Autobot smiled proudly as they strode through to corridor, "He told me he worked at the Iaconian Hall of Records before he became Prime, and... wow, what kind of relic is she?"

They all stopped and Smokescreen leant close to the window to get a better look at the stasis pod that held Airachnid. Before Bumblebee could answer, a growl escaped Knock Out's vocals.

"She's not a relic." he hissed through gritted dentas, anger burning in his blood-red optics at seeing the ex-Decepticon, "She's a monster."

Smokescreen looked puzzled as Bumblebee moved to stand next to the red mech. "Why? Who is she?"

_Doesn't matter_. Bumblebee put a servo on Knock Out's shoulder. _She cannot harm anyone from here. Let's go on._

"I want to stay." Knock Out stated, "I'll follow you later. Go."

Smokescreen shrugged, but Bumblebee looked a little worried. He didn't know what had made the older mech so upset, but he decided to leave it be. He and Smokescreen went along the corridor and were soon out of sight.

When Knock Out was finally alone, he took a shuddering breath. Thousands of emotions raged through his processor and his spark trembled painfully. Memories surged up in him and he bared his dentas. This pit-spawned femme was responsible for Breakdown's death - she ripped him apart mercilessly. Knock Out's servo shook with anger and he raised it up to transform, but then he hesitated. Why hadn't the Autobots already terminated Airachnid in this powerless state, now that they had the chance?

Maybe Prime didn't allow it - after all, he was too noble for his own good, and while Knock Out appreciated his kindness towards him, sometimes he just couldn't understand the Autobot leader. Maybe he was too used to Megatron's demented ways. He just stood there, Primus knew how long, the decision to end the life of this freak, Breakdown's murderer once and for all just grew stronger in his mind... until the Autobot scout ran up to him to tell him there was something wrong with Ratchet.

* * *

The moment he broke the link, Ratchet groaned and buried his face in his large palms. His vents were wheezing violently to pump air into his overheated systems, his cooling fans whining as they worked at their full speed. He could hardly keep his voice even by the end and was grateful Mrs. Stephens ended the conversation.

"Ratchet?" he heard Optimus, the Prime walked up to him, "Are you alright?"

"Do I look... alright?" Ratchet panted, he didn't even look up, "I thought that human... would never finish..."

Optimus put a servo on his friend's shoulder; his optics widened when he felt the heat radiating from the other mech's body, "You're overheating."

Ratchet felt too sick to come up with a sarcastic reply, he just groaned, "Thermostat malfunctioning... Bring me ice..."

Optimus nodded and turned around, coming face-to-face with Arcee, Bulkhead standing behind her. She cast a worried glance at Ratchet before turning back to their leader, "Jack just called," she said, "Bulkhead and I will go fetch them."

"Is June coming, too?"

"Yes."

"Alright." Optimus replied quietly, "Be back as soon as you can."

With that, Arcee and Bulkhead transformed just as Bumblebee and Smokescreen walked into the main room. That was when Optimus heard choking coughs from the couch where Ratchet was sitting and he whirled around, his whole body tensing with fear. Bumblebee also stood frozen next to Ratchet who was clasping a hand over his mouth as he retched and Optimus dropped the ice to make a dash for a bucket, but Smokescreen beat him to it. The younger 'bot casually picked up a nearby bucket, on his calm face there was not even the trail of the panic that seized both Optimus and Bumblebee and walked with quick steps over to Ratchet, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Okay, Ratchet," he said with a smile, "I gotcha."

Optimus would have admired the youngster's calmness and how well he handled the situation, but he was too worried for their medic as the mech's body heaved the contents of his tanks out. Was he purging because he was overheating or because he was going to have a seizure? The last time he had a seizure was the one he himself induced with June months before and Optimus dreaded the thought of him having another now.

When he saw Ratchet calm down a little, the Prime fetched the ice for him and willed himself to calm down as well - he needed to be collected, needed to be there for his long-time friend. Smokescreen still stood by Ratchet's side, his hand on his back in a comforting way while Bumblebee went to call Knock Out.

"Here." Optimus whispered and pushed the bag of ice gently to the back of the medic's neck, "Feeling better?"

Ratchet was still breathing heavily, his vents cycling air with a frightening wheezing sound and the ice already started melting on his hot frame, "Not really." he mumbled.

"Maybe something is clogging your thermostat." Smokescreen spoke up, "My sire had the same problem."

Bumblebee arrived with Knock Out at that moment and the red medic immediately scanned Ratchet. All the anger he felt earlier momentarily forgotten, he put his servo on the upper side of the older mech's chest, causing him to wince slightly.

"Smokescreen was right." Knock Out said and stood up, "Coolant has overflowed in your thermostat. Are you feeling anything else?"

Knock Out was talking with the same unfaltering, almost emotionlessly calm voice that Ratchet and June also used when they were acting as doctors rather than civilians. That was the first time Optimus saw him act like that, and he again found himself grateful to him for abandoning the vain fighter part of him in favor of the medic.

"Dizzy." Ratchet replied faintly.

"Like before a seizure?" Knock Out asked.

Ratchet took a deep breath before he answered, "I... don't know."

"Let's get you to the medbay." the Decepticon said, his voice surprisingly gentle, "I'll drain the coolant from your thermostat and you can lie down."

Optimus and Bumblebee volunteered to help Ratchet to the medbay while Knock Out prepared the necessary tools and Smokescreen went to clean the bucket. Ratchet could hardly raise his pedes and the violent shaking of his body just made his dizziness and nausea even worse. He didn't even hear it when Arcee and Bulkhead arrived back to the Base, Arcee bringing Jack and June while Miko and Raf travelled in Bulkhead. The two Autobots made their way into the medbay and the humans climbed up to the railing to be out of the way.

"What happened?" June asked with a worried frown seeing the medic sitting limp on the berth, optics closed.

"Why is he breathing like that?" Raf whispered, fear shining in his young eyes.

"He's overheating." Optimus answered them. Knock Out had meanwhile washed his servos and sterilized a needle that was attached to a thin tube. He gestured to Smokescreen to come over with the bucket for the coolant, but before he could stuck the needle into Ratchet's protoform, he stopped his hand.

"Primus..." Ratchet groaned as his tank lurched again and forced what little energon there was still in them out. He couldn't care anymore that everyone saw him, he was starting to get used to his body humiliating him in front of the others by now. He was too dizzy to care and that strange feeling was overwhelming his processor again...

When he was finished, Knock Out touched his chest again, pressing his fingers gently to the point where he knew the thermostat was and stuck in the needle carefully; dark coolant immediately started flowing into the tube and from it to the bucket Smokescreen was still holding next to Ratchet. The young Autobot was still calm, he didn't seem disturbed in the slightest by having to do these things for the older mech.

"It will take a while until his temperature goes back to normal." Knock Out told the others, "I may need to open him up and fix the thermostat if it fails to regulate it within a... Ratchet? Ratchet!"

Everyone looked at their medic. Ratchet was starring into space, his optics empty and his face blank, his body unmoving. Optimus felt panic grip his spark again and he hurried over to Ratchet before June's voice stopped him.

"Wait!" the nurse told him, "It's a partial seizure. Don't move him."

She heard Miko gasp next to her and Arcee walked over to the railing. "What can we do?"

"Nothing." June sighed, "We have to wait until it's over. He'll be dazed and confused for a while, but that will pass."

"How long?" Optimus asked, a hardly noticable waver in his voice was the only thing that revealed his distress.

"A few minutes... maybe an hour."

A loud gasp interrupted them and every head snapped back to Ratchet. The medic was panting like he had just run kilometers, his optics were wide and his whole body was trembling violently.

"O-Optimus..." he whispered and the Prime walked over to him, grabbing his servo, "I'm here, old friend. Are you better?"

Ratchet looked around, his optics darting from one direction to the other before it came to rest on the larger mech again, "Where am I?"

June's grasp on the railing tightened. Memory loss was not among the symptoms Ratchet had described and she hoped with all her heart that it was only temporary because of the seizure.

"Ratchet, listen to me." Knock Out told him, he was still holding the needle in his chest in place.

"You're a Decepticon." Ratchet said with a frown.

"Yes, that's right." the Aston Martin replied with uncharacteristic patience and pointed to the others. "Do you recognise them?"

Ratchet looked over to the Autobots, their tense, worried expressions - his confused gaze lingered on Smokescreen for a long moment, "Yes... but not him. Are you a medic?"

"Yes, I'm a medic. You're on the planet Earth, the humans' world."

Ratchet looked down, nodding slowly, "Yes... Jasper, Nevada." he then raised his gaze to the younger mech again, starring at him for a long moment, "Knock Out."

"Good." Knock Out smiled a little, then pointed to the railing where the humans stood, "Do you know who they are?"

Ratchet's venting calm down somewhat by then, he was still trembling a little, but recongition cleared in his optics slowly as he looked at the humans, "Jack... Miko... Rafael..." he stopped for a little longer when his optics found the only adult in the group, "June."

The nurse smiled and nodded, sighing in relief. Ratchet then looked at Smokescreen again, the youngster was still waiting patiently on his other side. "Smokescreen?"

The white-blue 'bot chuckled softly, "About time, Ratchet. I would've got really sore if you hadn't remembered me." he then fondly patted the older mech's shoulder and the medic rolled his optics. Optimus smiled a little - Ratchet was starting to be his old self again.

"Do you remember why I'm here?" Knock Out asked him once more and Ratchet looked down at himself. He starred at the tube filled with the dark coolant still in his chest and mumbled quietly,

"The syndrome... I got a seizure, didn't I?" he asked with a frown, "It shouldn't have wiped my memory..."

"You came back rather quickly." Knock Out said, "Recharge now. You'll be better."

Knock Out then pulled out the needle from Ratchet's chest carefully. He closed the little wound quickly, knowing that Ratchet's repair nanites weren't working and scanned him again. Bumblebee brought more ice for the medic and they helped him lie down. Everyone was wiped emotionally after this incident and no one dared leave the medbay for a while. Optimus still held Ratchet's hand even though it seemed his friend's condition had stabilized as much as it could. Ratchet didn't have the heart to send anyone away and let his systems slowly enter recharge - but before he could do that, he felt a feather-light touch on his faceplate.

Miko was kneeling by his shoulder, dried lines of tears on her face, one hand rested on her belly. "Ratchet..." she began, "I've been... thinking. You are very sick, and the last thing you need now is a pregnant teenager. I don't want to burden you with my problems, I understand. I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to look after me anymore if you're-"

"Miko," Ratchet's tired voice interrupted her, "I may not be able to help you as much as I'd like to, but I'm not giving up on you. No matter how sick I am, I promised I would help you. I want to be there when you give birth to your baby, and I will. Don't worry."

Tears welled up in her eyes again and Miko nodded with a sad smile, "Thank you."

"I'm the medic here." Ratchet whispered, a weak smile playing on his lips despite all that happened, "And nothing will change that."


	9. Chapter 9

Hy! ^^ I think everyone has guessed that this story will not be too action-filled (I'm not good at describing action either, as you will see), and this chapter is no different. I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and supports this story, even those I can't thank personally. I never thought so many people would like this story. You're all awesome! It means a lot to me! :)

On to the story. :) There will be events from "Legacy", but it's still AU.

* * *

IX.

He couldn't stand anymore - the moment he stood up, violent spasms gripped his legs and the pain grew unbearable; this was made worse by his inability to keep his balance. His muscolatory cables had weakened greatly, to the point that he could hardly keep himself upright on his own even when he sat - he could still push himself up slowly and painfully, but it often resulted in him falling back on his berth with a cry of agony. On bad days, the malfunction of his equilibrium sensors brought on dizzy spells that plagued him even when he lay down.

But the pain was the worst of all.

"Ratchet," Knock Out sighed, rubbing his helm, "I have already given you two injections today. I can't give you more painkiller. You will not only be dazed, but it will turn toxic to-"

"But it _hurts_, Knock Out." Ratchet growled, "I know the risks, just give me one more!"

"You're not my superior now, Ratchet."

"But I'm your... elder." the 'bot hissed through gritted dentas and Knock Out leant closer with a smirk on his face.

"And _I'm _your medic."

Ratchet grimaced, "If only I could inject myself-"

"You would overdose yourself." a feminine voice interrupted him and the two doctors saw June walk up to them. Ratchet now didn't attempt to lean down and pick her up like he usually did, Knock Out did that instead. He had gotten used to the humans by then and sometimes he even found the woman's presence rather comforting. He placed her on the berth next to them in the medbay, June put her hands on her hips as she eyed the sulking medic. It was not that she didn't believe he was in pain; his dim optics, lightly trembling frame and heavy venting were all telltale signs of it and she knew MS patients experienced pain, too. But she also knew it was, again, making him irrational.

"Ratchet," she began, "too much painkiller would shut off your-"

"I know!" the mech shoved his fist into the armrest, "Just because I'm sick I haven't lost my mind! And stop talking to me like I was a youngling! I'm the fragging CMO here!"

Ratchet felt the all-too familiar servo of an imaginary femme rest upon his shoulder and his expression softened somewhat. He wanted to lean into the touch, but he felt another, much lighter and softer one on his fingers and he unintentionally uncurled them under June's hand.

"I guess you're not in the mood for teaching today then." she said.

Ratchet snorted, "Absolutely not." he growled and June sighed.

"We shouldn't draw out the making of the operation plan too much." the nurse told him, "Who knows how fast the disease will progress..."

The medic did not say anything. Knock Out had gone with a cloth to soak it in cold water and now walked back to Ratchet, pressing the cloth to the back of his neck.

"It won't stop the pain." he mumbled, but leant backwards and sighed in relief despite himself.

"But it will dull it." Knock Out replied, "And you're starting to overheat again."

At that moment, harsh laughter tore into the quiet atmosphere of the silo after wild engine revving and the sound of transformation. Ratchet made a grimace and groaned.

"I bet it's that over-energized hot rod again."

"And that oh-so mature son of mine." June added with a raise of an eyebrow, but she couldn't help a small smile. Jack was to show Smokescreen around Jasper and teach him the rules he had to keep while he drove the roads of Earth, but it seemed the two teenagers managed to find something that was more fun. June watched as Jack showed Arcee a picture of a car and by their conversation, it was Vince's; June knew that boy and she found herself chuckling softly.

"What's so funny about it?" Ratchet asked, clearly annoyed at all the fuss and the nurse's change of mood.

"Well..." June started, "first, Arcee is doing the job of scolding them instead of me, so I can relax. Second, that Vince guy deserved it. And anyway, why shouldn't they have their fun? As long as they're still young... as long as they still can."

Knock Out meanwhile had gone to the sink to cool the cloth again, Ratchet didn't even notice his absence - he just continued starring at June with a frown.

"That's no reason for-"

"Ratchet," June sighed, "you have never been good at adjusting to new things or enjoying life since I know you, even when you were healthy. Smokescreen really seems to like you, the first thing he always does every morning or whenever he gets back to the Base is coming to you to see how he can help." that much Optimus told her; it seemed the young 'bot had earned his respect with how patient he acted when Ratchet had that seizure, "And he has brought something that has long been missing from this place and you all needed; laughter."

Ratchet grimaced again, "I have no need for-"

He was again interrupted, by Smokescreen this time, "June is right, Ratchet. You need more fun."

With that, he covered Ratchet's helm with the cold wet cloth he got from Knock Out and threw an arm around the older mech's shoulder. Ratchet's fingers curled into a fist and his lips narroved into a thin line, but a moment later they unintentionally moved upward to the tiniest of smiles. Seeing this, Smokescreen chuckled and took the cloth from his helm and pressed it instead to the medic's forehead.

"How are you?" he asked, his voice gaining a softer, more serious tone.

"Pe-erfect." Ratchet rolled his optics, but looked up to see Smokescreen's smiling face. Maybe June was right; ever since that seizure which caused him to lose his memory for a few minutes, everyone watched him with anxious optics and cast him worried glances, just like back in the war when he lost Nightfall - only Smokescreen retained still his youthful happiness and was the only one who greeted him with gleeful smiles. Even these small teasings felt good - though Ratchet would never admit that - and pulled him out of his depression somewhat.

He hated this human woman for being right again.

"Knock Out told me you were throwing a tantrum again." Smokescreen continued and June had to cover her mouth to hide her amusement.

Ratchet snorted, "They won't give me painkiller."

Smokescreen nodded with a serious expression. "Hmm. He was right."

"Oh, just shut up." Ratchet grumbled and raised a shaking servo to his helm, sighing, "Where is Knock Out anyway?"

Smokescreen shrugged, "Dunno. Said he had some business and will come back later."

* * *

He was standing in front of the stasis pod again, hatred bubbling in his spark.

Knock Out vented deeply. He was alone, finally alone, and free to go anywhere he liked in the Base; he was sure it was the right time to do it. He could not calm down as long as he knew Breakdown's killer was there and alive - Knock Out's servo shook with anger as he opened the door and transformed it into his buzzsaw.

"Time to take my revenge." he growled and struck without thinking.

However, he never reached Airachnid; a loud clang, metal striking metal rang through the corridor.

"Stop it, Knock Out." a femme voice spoke next to him, but only when the furious veil fell from his optics did the Decepticon see what had happened. Arcee stood before him, blocking his buzzsaw with her own blade and held it strongly.

"Get out of my way!" Knock Out hissed, "She killed Breakdown! I can't let her live!"

Arcee looked surprised for a moment; they didn't know it was Airachnid who offlined Breakdown, but now it made sense. That was probably the first time in her life that Arcee felt symphaty for a Decepticon.

"I know what you feel." Arcee told him, trying to calm him down, "Airachnid killed my partner, too."

Knock Out frowned, his pressure on the femme's blade lessened, "And you didn't want revenge? Didn't you want to make her pay?!"

"Believe me, I tried." Arcee growled and looked at Airachnid's frozen face, "But she always got away. She's locked now, helpless."

"That's why we have to kill her now, when she can't fight back!"

"There are worse things than death," Arcee said quietly, "you're a medic, Knock Out, you should know it."

The two-wheeler watched as the blind rage slowly vanished from Knock Out's face, his optics dimmed empty of emotions and he lowered his buzzsaw, transforming it back. She touched his arm and pushed him gently back to the main room. The mech didn't protest anymore.

"I saw you walk away," Arcee spoke up, "I'm sorry, but I had to check on you."

Knock Out simply nodded, it seemed he was lost in thoughts. Arcee continued, her voice surprisingly soft, "I'm sorry about Breakdown. We only knew he had been offlined, but we didn't know it was Airachnid."

"He and Dreadwing had been sent out with Airachnid to kill her." the Aston Martin finally murmured, "We've had enough of her, too. But something went wrong... Breakdown was killed instead, and that sadistic glitch got away." after a long moment, he added, "At least you weren't alone after your partner died."

Arcee looked at him curiously. She knew it was a sensitive subject, but she couldn't help ask, "Was he... more than just a partner?"

Knock Out looked at her, but didn't say anything until they reached the main room. Arcee cast a glance towards Ratchet; Smokescreen was still there with him, both him and June trying to distract his attention from the pain. The femme smiled a little and made her way to Bulkhead who was watching Raf make a project on his computer. He was so deep in thoughts that the former wrecker almost jumped when Arcee put her small servo on his massive arm.

"What?" the motorcycle chuckled, "I managed to scare a wrecker?"

"No! I wasn't scared... well... not that much." Bulkhead shrugged in embarrassment, "By the way, do you need something?"

Arcee looked at Knock Out and Bulkhead followed her gaze; the younger medic still stood at the entrance, his arms folded over his chassis, he was watching Ratchet with a frown. It was clear to Bulkhead that he was troubled and he looked at Arcee quiestioningly, "Well...?"

"I just stopped him from killing Airachnid," she answered in a hushed voice, "Turns out she was the one who offlined Breakdown."

Her commrade's optics went wide, but he tried to brush off his shock, "It's... understandable then that he wanted to offline her. What does it have to do with me?"

"You knew Breakdown the best." Arcee replied, "Go, speak to him. As much as I loathe Airachnid, I don't want him killing anyone here at the Base."

Bulkhead looked even more confused, "What could I say, Arcee? I didn't know Breakdown _that_ well-"

"It can't be much harder than listening to Miko."

Bulkhead gave the femme a look, but heaved a deep sigh. He waved his big servo and walked over to Knock Out, giving him almost the same fright he had recieved from Arcee. "Sorry." Bulkhead murmured and forced a smile onto his faceplate, "Wanna come for a walk?"

Knock Out looked over at Arcee who was now standing by the monitors.

"She told you." he stated.

"About Airachnid's role in Breakdown's death." Bulkhead added, "Look, I'm sorry about that. We didn't know it was Airachnid. Breakdown would have... deserved better. He was a warrior, and... yes, he did horrible things, but which one of us didn't? And we had fought so much, I almost knew his every move, and _I _wanted to offline hi-"

He stopped himself quickly when he realized what he had just said, "Sorry, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that-"

Knock Out waved at him and Bulkhead decided to shut his mouth and wait for him to gather his thoughts instead. Knock Out frowned still a little, but his voice sounded calmer than the wrecker expected. "You're right. He was a soldier, he was ready die. Even in a battle with you." the Decepticon medic stopped for a moment before he continued, "He enjoyed those battles where he got to fight with you. He told me many times it was probably you he deemed the best to fight with. He found you worthy. He never forgot that you rescued him from MECH."

Bulkhead smiled a little. He remembered it was hard to convince him to go help the Decepticon, but it turned out to be an action-filled mission - it was then that they learned MECH'S intentions with them.

"Life sure got more boring without him." the wrecker chuckled in embarrassment, he really didn't know what to say.

"Well," Knock Out's smile grew mocking a little, "you sure wouldn't have been able to kidnap me if he had been there."

"Maybe we would have, we were kinda desperate back then. You were our only hope to heal Ratchet... you still are." Bulkhead sighed, "You're a good warrior, too."

Knock Out shook his helm. "No. I'm weaker without him. Even Megatron noticed." he grimaced, "He protected me and knew me in every way. That's why I wanted to kill Airachnid. To avenge him. I know, soldiers die in a war, but it was Breakdown... and he was killed in such an undignified manner..."

It was hard to fight the urge to transform his hand again, Knock Out gritted his dentas. Silence hang between them for a while and Bulkhead decided to break it, "Can I ask something... personal?" he did not recieve an answer, so the wrecker decided to ask, "Were you bonded?"

To his surprise, Knock Out chuckled, "Would I be here if we were?"

Bulkhead shrugged, "I know a mech who had survived the deactivation of his bondmate."

Knock Out's eyes widened a little, but he shook his helm. "No, we weren't. We wanted to wait until we reclaimed Cybertron."

They stood in silence for a little time then slowly started talking again, just about random things they remembered about Breakdown. It was a moment of peace and understanding for the two mechs finally brought by something they could share - until they heard June's voice calling to Knock Out for his help.

The Aston Martin immediately made his way to Ratchet with Bulkhead following close behind. Ratchet was leaning forward on his elbows, Smokescreen held him, the medic's vents made whoosing sounds that Knock Out didn't like.

"Has he purged?" he asked and kneeled down beside him.

"No." June answered him, "Just got dizzy. Must be his equilibrium sensors."

"Again." Knock Out sighed.

"Just help me lie down... or I _will_ purge." Ratchet murmured faintly and Bulkhead already moved over to him.

"Alright, Ratchet, here you go." he said and lifted the medic up from his chair. He and Knock Out helped him lie down on the berth while Smokescreen picked June up from it. The woman ran her hand along the young Autobot's fingers in gratitude, earning a small smile from him, but both of them quickly turned back to Ratchet. The medic was lying on his side, his optics seemed unfocused and he thought it better to offline them to stop the room from spinning.

"Maybe I could have a look at your sensors." Knock Out told him and Ratchet onlined his optics with a deep sigh.

"What could you do?" he asked, his voice weaker than they expected and he winced slightly. The pain still hadn't subsided.

"Is it a... well, _normal_ symptom?" Smokescreen asked uncertainly and June looked up at him from his hands.

"Yes." she nodded, "If it's not the sensors that make him dizzy, then his energon pump does. Unregular pressure."

"Your systems are weakening, Ratchet." Knock Out's voice grew more serious, his anger returning and now directed at the older mech lying before him "They'll start failing. First your thermostat, now your sensors and pump. Your hydraulics are cracking and leaking and you can't get up without either purging or howling in pain. I'll let you recharge now, but when you wake up, we _will_ start making the operation plans. I don't care how pissed you are. Was I clear?"

June let a small smile play on her lips - just what she herself wanted to tell Ratchet, too. The old medic listened with dim optics and didn't say anything this time, he was too unwell; just closed his optics and let his stiff limbs go limp. June couldn't deny that she felt sorry for him, she knew it was bad even when he lay, but they couldn't be held back anymore because of his temper tantrums.

They needed to practice for the operation, Ratchet needed to show them all the vital steps and they needed to figure out how to fix him - they needed to heal him. As much as June disliked the fact at first that her son was hanging out with giant robots, she couldn't imagine her life without them now - especially not without this stupidly arrogant miracle of a robot medic.

* * *

"Miko! Where are you?"

"Out with Jack and Raf." the girl answered immediately. She wasn't lying to her host mother; just left out the part that she was also with six alien transformers inside a secret Base, "Why?"

"You should come home." Faye Stephens' voice said through the phone, "You have a visitor."

Miko frowned and got up from the couch. It was a bit hard because of her round abdomen and her heart was beating fast, "Who?"

Mrs. Stephens hesitated a little, her voice was low and quiet which frightened Miko more than it should have, "Miko, do not get angry. I had to do this."

"Do what?!" Miko cried into the phone, silencing everyone else in the room, "Faye, just say it already!"

"I called your mother. She's here, she wants to meet you."

The air seemed to have frozen around the Japanese girl and she broke the line. She circled her arms around her chest, she could barely hear the others asking her what happened or feel the kicks of her baby, she could only concentrate on the fact that her mother - and probably the rest of her family - now knew about her secret. She wanted to tell them sooner or later, but not like this and Miko was terrified to think of how her mother will react when she saw her.

"Miko! Miko!" Jack was grasping her shoulder, his worried face was the first thing she saw. All colour drained from her face, she turned to the others, especially June.

"Faye called mom." she said, her voice trembling, "She's here. She knows."

The nurse sighed. It was inevitable, they all knew, but seeing how shaken Miko was had softened her heart, "I'll go with you."

"Let me take you home." Bulkhead volunteered after making sure everything was alright around Ratchet. He transformed and let Miko, June and Jack climb into him.

Miko's heart sank in fear, but also leapt in joy when she saw her mother. Yuriko Nakadai looked upon the truck that pulled up by the Stephens house with a worried frown and leaned forward to get a better view of her daughter. She didn't have to wait long; Miko stepped out of the car and hurried up to her as quickly as she could.

All fear was forgotten when they finally held each other close, Yuriko could feel her daughter trembling in her arms with tears streaming down her face. The anger she previously felt evaporated like water on a hot day and was replaced by loving worry for the girl she had not seen for more than a year.

"Mom," she heard Miko whisper in their own language, "I'm sorry. I'm s-sorry..."

"Miko," Yuriko spoke, too, her voice hushed and wavering, "I'm not... angry. I just want you to come home with me."

A shudder ran through Miko's body. She broke the embrace to look at her mother, her shining brown eyes that reflected her own.

"Dad?" she asked, hoping to distract her mother from her request - because no matter how happy she was to see her again, there was no way she wanted to leave everything behind.

Yuriko Nakadai looked down and hesitated, "He... didn't want to come."

Miko nodded. Exactly what she expected. "He disowned me, didn't he? I brought shame to our family..."

"No!" her mother exclaimed, "He's just... it's hard for him, Miko. It's hard for all of us."

"That's why I don't want to go home, mom." Miko said, drying her tears, "I would not be welcome. And... I'm fine here. All my friends are here. And... my son's father is here, too."

She gestured to her back where Jack and June stood. Jack now came forward, gaining enough courage to reach out a hand to Miko's mother for a handshake, "Uhm, my name is Jack Darby. I'm glad to meet you."

Yuriko shook Jack's hand and sighed, she spoke in perfect English just like her daughter, "Are you the father?"

"Yes, madame."

"Mrs. Nakadai," June stepped forward, not knowing how else to address the woman standing before her, "I'm June Darby, Jack's mother. I'm a nurse and I can reassure you that Miko and the baby are in perfect health. We're taking care of everythi-"

Just then, a loud whoosh sounded from above and the stream of smoke it left behind almost seemed to tear the sky in two - like a meteor, but this one couldn't be that. It wasn't shining and what they saw felt strikingly familiar for the two teenagers. It was a ship, and Miko knew exactly whom it belonged to.

Unfortunately, so did Bulkhead, and in a moment when excitement took over him, the heretofore immobile and perfectly ordinary car came to life and a voice from inside him filled the street with its joyful exclamation.

"Hey, Jackie's back!"


	10. Chapter 10

Here again. :) Well... this chapter didn't turn out how I wanted it... I blame it on my sulking muse. . Sucky chapter full of errors, I apologize for that :'(

Have a nice day! :)

* * *

X.

The moment Wheeljack activated the cloaking device on the Jackhammer, a GroundBridge opened next to him and Optimus Prime himself walked out to greet him. He wore a small smile, but even the wrecker could tell it was forced and there was a kind of mental exhaustion in the leader's optics, something Wheeljack had seen many times before - and seeing it from Optimus meant something was really, really wrong.

"Hello, Prime." the 'bot stepped forward and Optimus nodded.

"Welcome, Wheeljack." the soothing baritone said, "It is good to see you again."

"Everything alright?" Wheeljack asked with a frown, "You look tired."

The Prime lowered his helm with a sigh. "In fact, things are not as they should be. There are some... changes you should know about before we go back to Base."

"I'm all audios." the other shrugged, though he tensed a little. What could be so bad that made Optimus Prime act this upset?

"Mega-cycles ago, Ratchet came down with an illness known as Starshadow-syndrome. It's a neurological disease that originates from the malfunction of his auto-repair center. He has seizures, during which his own repair nanites deactivate his neurocircuits and their connections. It is... life-threatening and we haven't found a cure yet."

Optimus stopped for a moment, letting the information sink. Wheeljack starred at him in silence with wide optics and the only thing he could utter was, "How bad?"

"Very." Optimus whispered, "He cannot stand without help and some of his systems have started to show signs of failure. He's in pain. However, his cognitive functions are untouched. He's still his old self."

Without warning, Wheeljack shoved his way past the Prime and hurried into the whirls of the GroundBridge, he didn't wait for Optimus to say anything more. Before Optimus could reach him, Wheeljack was in the Base and made his way towards the medbay, not saying a word to anyone, only to stop dead in his tracks when he got there.

The sound of weapons buzzing to life was the first thing everyone heard when the GroundBridge closed, and it was followed by Wheeljack's voice that was dripping venom as he asked,

"What is a Decepticon doing near Ratchet?!"

Bumblebee was helping Ratchet sit up while Knock Out fetched him a cube of medical grade - now the scout held out both arms, optics shining in alarm, to stop Wheeljack from shooting. Knock Out, however, stood straight and looked back at him with unwavering gaze; for a long moment they just glared at each other until a small servo landed on Wheeljack's arm.

"Stop, Wheeljack." Arcee told him, "Knock Out is a medic. He's treating Ratchet."

"A 'con?!" the wrecker snapped back, "Couldn't you find anything better?"

"Well," Knock Out spoke up, his voice gaining back its smug, sarcastic tone, "since I'm the only one, you can't really do anything about it, can you?"

"Enough!" Ratchet's shout cut through them from the berth. He pushed himself up more, his arms twitching and hydraulics creaking and looked at Wheeljack's shocked face, glaring draggers at his former partner, "Knock Out is a qualified medic. He's doing a great job. There will be no fighting in my medbay! Cut it out, Wheeljack... and wipe that look from your face! I'm not offline yet."

Wheeljack knew, but he couldn't help a small wave of fear cross his features. Most of Ratchet's armour had been taken away, his protoform was a dull colour not the shiny silver they were used to. There was a catheter tube hanging out of him, a small device attached to his chest that displayed his current temperature - which was a bit high, Wheeljack noted - and tremors kept running through his frame. His vents were cycling hard, but that angry frown was still the same Wheeljack knew all too well.

The wrecker didn't know what to say. He couldn't take his optics off the medic; he was the best, Wheeljack couldn't imagine that he hadn't been able to find a cure to this disease. He just watched Knock Out give him the medical grade energon, watched how Ratchet took it with both hands and willed his digits into a firm grip then raised the cube slowly and shakily to his mouth - until both the Decepticon and Bumblebee left Ratchet's side and the two 'bots were finally alone.

That was when Wheeljack walked up to him after a little hesitation, he had a small limp that he had all but forgotten until Ratchet waved to him to sit down. He picked up Ratchet's hand gently and raised it to his mouth to kiss it like was tradition toward a creator or elder friend. Ratchet watched him in silence, a bit surprised by the gesture he hadn't recieved from him in a long time and sighed deeply as he eyed him up and down.

"Are you injured?" the medic asked, his voice was much calmer now.

Wheeljack looked down and shrugged, "It's nothing. I just... came down 'cause I thought you could patch me up, but it's nothing. How are you?"

"Today's not the finest." Ratchet murmured and activated his scan.

"Ratch, I told you it's no-"

"Hold still." Ratchet grumbled, annoyed, as the red light swept along Wheeljack's leg, "Two tendon cables are broken. What did you get yourself into this time?"

Wheeljack didn't answer and didn't try to stop Ratchet anymore when he pulled a tray of tools next to the berth. He was still the medic and just as stubborn as the wrecker, though he worked slowly and sometimes couldn't control the trembling and twitching of his servo.

"And... what's going to happen?" Wheeljack finally asked when he thought it was safe enough.

Ratchet sighed, but answered, "I'm slowly losing motor and regulatory functions. If I die, it will be of multiple system failure before I would start losing cognitive functions. Means I'll be a conscious scrapheap, too weak to hold onto my spark anymore. That is, if we can't come up with something."

"Ratch..." Wheeljack's voice was unusually quiet, "I know we haven't been on the best terms recently, but... if you need something-"

"I know, I know." Ratchet waved, "Let's forget what happened, okay? I don't need you getting sentimental. And I definitely don't need another babysitter here. I already have one that just won't give up."

Wheeljack followed his gaze and he saw a young Autobot in the main room who was looking their way curiously. Now that he was noticed, he walked into the medbay with gleaming optics. "Hello!" he greeted the wrecker excitedly, "My name's Smokescreen."

"Wheeljack." the older 'bot smiled a little, "So, you're keeping the doc in line?"

"I'm trying." Smokescreen smirked.

"Doctors are the worst patients, huh?" Both of them chuckled and Wheeljack looked back to see Ratchet bury his face in his palm.

"Oh, Primus, why me?" Ratchet murmured and felt Wheeljack slide an arm around his shoulder and the wrecker pulled him to his chassis.

"It's okay, doc." he told him, "But seriously... do you have everything you need?"

Ratchet sighed again. Pain throbbed in his helm and he grunted, a dizzy spell threatened to wash through his processor, he found himself leaning against Wheeljack for support. "Everything we could get." the medic answered quietly.

"I'm still a mechanical engineer, you know that." Wheeljack said, "I could upgrade medical equipment for you, I have parts in the Jackhammer. Tools, or... do you have a hoverchair?"

Ratchet snorted, "Can you see any? There's been no need for it."

"But it's a good idea." Smokescreen spoke up, "Ratchet, you could use one."

"I agree." they heard Optimus' voice and the Prime joined them, "You could have more independence that way, old friend."

"I could modify that one for you." Wheeljack pointed to the chair next to the berth. Ratchet sighed and nodded - he had already had to swallow his pride, if he could move around on his own again, he could at least gain some of it back. He smiled a little at the thought, it was probably the first good news he had recieved in weeks. He weakly let his helm drop onto Wheeljack's shoulder; maybe his arrival wasn't so bad after all.

"Anyway, where's the little human?" the wrecker asked all of a sudden, "'Cause I think my entrance to the area was a bit... louder than it should've been."

"WHAT?!"

* * *

"Mom," Miko raised up her hands, "it's not what you think-"

"Yes, it is!" Yuriko Nakadai exclaimed and pointed at the truck, "It... he's one of them, isn't he?!"

All three humans stood dumbfounded at the woman's question. Bulkhead, realizing his mistake too late, now didn't even dare move, but when Miko's mother asked that, he felt like he had frozen to the spot. How could she know?

"What... what do you mean?" Miko asked her in a scared whisper.

"You're sister once found a video on the net," Yuriko began to explain, "it was soon replaced by some... dancing monkey, or I don't know, but she managed to save it to her computer. She showed us, and it was of a giant robot that walked between buildings and then transformed into a car. We thought it was nonsense, some college student testing their skills and showing off... but y-your car just talked!"

Miko sighed. She saw Jack step forward with an impressive pokerface, but she raised up a hand to stop him. Their eyes met and Miko nodded to him, "No more secrets." she quoted him. Jack looked unsure, but he had to agree that it would just make things worse for all of them if they denied the obvious from Yuriko.

"Alright, mom." Miko took a deep breath, "This truck is a transforming robot from outer space. His name is Bulkhead, he's my guardian and one of my best friends-"

"Your _guardian_?" Yuriko interrupted her, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes," Miko answered, trying to stay calm, "But he's not dangerous! I mean... I spend my free time with them without anyone knowing. Bulkhead protects me, it's completely safe!"

Yuriko just starred at her for a long moment, "This... has been going on... for how long?"

Miko's shoulder slumped, "More than a year."

"Mrs. Nakadai," June stepped forward again, "I knew about this. My son has his own guardian among them, too. I can reassure you that they pose no threat to us. They are good friends, and our protection is their top priority. Please, don't be angry at Miko. We all" she glared at Bulkhead, "swore to keep it a secret."

"I guess it's... understandable." Yuriko curled her fingers into a fist to keep them from trembling when she walked up to the truck and leant to the window to look inside. She saw a strange symbol on the steering wheel and machinery she didn't recognise, and, trying to persuade herself that she wasn't dreaming, she spoke, "So... you are... Bulkhead?"

The truck did not move, but he thought the woman was convinced enough for him to answer, "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

Yuriko took a deep breath, "You take care of my daughter?"

"We all do."

The Japanese woman felt her daughter fold her thin arms around her in an embrace and rested her head on her shoulder. "Please, mom," she heard the girl whisper in her ears, "I'd like to stay here. I'm safe here, and everything is set and ready for the baby."

"Who will raise it? You have to continue your studies, Miko. And you, too." Yuriko turned to Jack. The boy bowed his head.

"I have a job." he said, "It's nothing extraordinary, but it pays anyway. And my father will help us, too." he added, trying to sound confident - in fact, his father had yet to know he was going to have a grandson soon, "Miko and the baby can live with us... if... she can stay."

"And we also have a friend," June spoke, "an agent who has offered his help. After all we... have done for our home in helping the Autobots. As such, I can take maternity leave instead of Miko to take care of our baby."

Yuriko turned back to her daughter, memorizing her features all the way to her to her round belly. She was different, yet still the same, and the people who stood behind her looked sincere and ready to support her. "You don't want to come home with me?"

Miko shook her head and leant against her mother again. "But we can visit each other any time. The Autobots have a GroundBridge that can take you anywhere on Earth."

"What?"

"This is true." Bulkhead joined in quietly, "Our medic built it. That's how we travel."

"It can take us back to Tokyo anytime for free." Miko grinned, she had gained some confidence now that she saw her mother wasn't angry or shocked anymore. She knew her mother, she inherited her curiosity from her and thus she wasn't surprised at Yuriko's next request towards Bulkhead.

"I want to see you. I want to see that... my daughter is safe here."

Bulkhead was quiet for a while, not moving at all, then they heard a click and Miko grabbed her mother's arm to pull her away a little. She knew what that sound signalled and expected her friend to open his doors for them. She encouraged Yuriko to get inside with June taking the driver's seat, then Bulkhead's doors closed and his engine rumbled as he departed from the Stephens house. "We'll find a secluded area, there I will transform. But I... don't think we should go to the Base."

"Yes, that's right." June nodded.

"Why?" Miko asked with a frown, "Mom took it well, and she could travel ba-... oh, yes. Ratchet."

"Ratchet?"

"He's our medic." Bulkhead answered Yuriko Nakadai's question quietly, "He's quite sick now, and... he doesn't like new things. We don't want to make him upset, please, understand. I think Wheeljack has already done that..."

* * *

"I knew things just can't go right when you're here!" Ratchet bellowed, "And Bulkhead blew his cover, too?!"

"Well... I heard him on the comm. and saw him move with those humans around... I couldn't identify two of them, but I thought you knew-"

"Slagging wreckers! You just can't keep yourselves from blowing things up, son of a-"

"Ratchet!" Optimus' voice, though not as loud as the medic's, still cut through the air of the silo, "That's enough. What's done is done, we have called Rafael to investigate those conspiracy websites. You must calm down, you're core temperature is rising again."

Ratchet's vents worked with wheezing intakes and he felt his thermostat and pump tighten painfully, but he didn't care. Pushing his throbbing headache and the rising heat that made him dizzy, the older mech sat up with a growl and pointed a finger at Wheeljack, "I only calm down when that fragger's gone!"

At that moment, his vision started fading and he felt like his frame was on fire. His inner pressure was too high, temperature too high and nausea built up in him. He didn't know how much time had passed, it must not have been more than mere nanokliks, the next thing he knew was that Bumblebee's anxious face filled up his horizon and he was folded in the young scout's arms.

_Ratchet_..., his beeps seemed to come from a distance even with Bumblebee speaking so close to his audios and Ratchet had a hard time translating the younger 'bots buzzing, _Your vents are exhaling smoke_. _You're burning up. Please, calm down..._

_Smoke?,_ Ratchet frowned and looked up to see the worried and scared faces of his comrades. Now he could also feel the faint smoke that left his vents with every forceful intake, it seemed harder to breath and he swore he could hear a small gurgling sound every time he vented. Something was clogging his vents? Maybe he had a coolant leak again? That would explain the growing heat and pain in his chest...

He buried his helm into Bumblebee's neck cables and forced himself to calm down. He mumbled something that Bumblebee couldn't understand, but he didn't let go of Ratchet not even when he saw Knock Out hurry up to them, pushing his way past Arcee, Optimus and Wheeljack, ignoring the glares he recieved from the wrecker. Even before he touched him, the Decepticon could feel the heat radiating from the other mech.

"It's your thermostat again." Knock Out murmured, "I'm preparing you for a drain-"

He was interrupted when Ratchet pushed Bumblebee away all of a sudden, darkened coolant shot out of him, choking coughs racked his body, his ventilation systems and thermostat fought to expel the excess coolant that leaked out. Sharp pain shot through his processor with every cough, he couldn't even feel the needle struck in his back that slowly started to drain the fluid from his vents. He felt a large servo wipe the coolant from his chin and saw Optimus above himself, he pushed him back down gently just as Knock Out pulled the tube out of his system.

"No more of this, Ratchet." he heard his best friend say to him, his voice soft with a worried frown, "You can't do this to yourself upon the smallest of problems. No more shouting match, no more outbursts. You must control yourself more, old friend... You can't make yourself worse ever again like this. Do you understand?"

His vents were still working overtime, but his processor cleared somewhat. Ratchet forced out a small nod, knowing full well that his leader was right, he just couldn't help himself - Wheeljack always managed to bring up this side of him, no matter how grateful he was for his presence for a short time. He swallowed down his rising anger and concentrated on what Knock Out was telling him, "I'm putting you under, Ratchet. I have to open you up and see that thermostat myself. And don't you dare argue. Now, everyone who doesn't have a medical degree, out of the bay!"

Ratchet saw Wheeljack's shocked and worried face and him moving towards him before his optics offlined. The last thing he felt was a scarred hand grab his own as the anesthetic put him to sleep.


End file.
